


Pog Bitches That Need Therapy (+ Dream)

by mikeythemage



Series: Blood and Paper [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Author Projecting onto TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Author Projecting onto Tubbo, Author is a TommyInnit Apologist, CLINGY TRIO IS STRICTLY PLATONIC, Canon Universe Is My Bitch, Clay | Dream Bashing, Clay | Dream is held responsible for his actions, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack and Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enderman-Ghast Hybrid Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Forgetful Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Fuck Dream All My Homies Hate Dream, Gen, Group Chat Fic, He's Seventeen yall, Hurt/Comfort, I do what I want, Implied/Referenced Emotional Manipulation/Abuse, Jschlatt Redemption, Karlnapity cannot be contained, M/M, Multi, OOC, Pig-Hybrid Technoblade, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Rating will change, Texting, Toby Smith | Tubbo and TommyInnit and Ranboo are Besties convince me otherwise, Tommy Tubbo and Ranboo's mental health is talked about for once, TommyInnit is Phil Watson's Adoptive Son, Treat him like he is, Tubbo Actually Acting His Fucking Age, WIlbur Soot & Technoblade are Childhood Best Friends, What are friends if not people you relentlessly bully, Wilbur Soot Redemption, Wilbur Soot is Phil Watson's Biological Son, Winged Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), author is a ranboo apologist, author is a tubbo apologist, author projecting onto Ranboo, i guess?, i was never trying to be in character for them LMFAO, im just warning you, plot but also not, they rival Tommy Tubbo and Ranboo in chaotic energy, this goes from serious to not serious in seconds flat, this made fundynotfound grow on me im done, until they need comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:54:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 28,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29200167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikeythemage/pseuds/mikeythemage
Summary: Wilbur makes a group-chat because he's bored out of his skull and adds friends and foes alikealternatively;The group-chat fic where Schlatt and Wilbur never died, Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo bond over their mutual trauma caused by Dream, Dream is held responsible for his actions, and people realize the amount of stress they've been putting on three minors.FUCK Dream. All my homies HATE dream.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Clay | Dream/Floris | Fundy (Past), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Past), Eventual Floris | Fundy/GerogeNotFound, Everyone & Everyone, Mentions of Past Alexis | Quackity/Jschlatt
Series: Blood and Paper [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2105607
Comments: 313
Kudos: 1055





	1. oh hell no

**Author's Note:**

> All shipping is between their SMP characters and not their IRL personas ! :)

_**Wilbur has added Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo,  
Dream, Sapnap, George, Technoblade,  
Fundy, Quackity, Schlatt, and Karl to  
NEW GROUP CHAT** _

_**ONLINE** _

_Karl is Online_

_Fundy is Online_

_Tubbo is Online_

_Wilbur is Online_

_Schlatt is Online_

_George is Online_

_Tommy is Online_

_Ranboo is Online_

_Sapnap is Online_

_Quackity is Online_

**_OFFLINE_ **

_Dream is Offline_

_Technoblade is Offline_

_**Wilbur has named NEW GROUP CHAT  
to Pog Bitches That Need Therapy (+ Dream)** _

**Tommy _  
_**oh hell no

_**Tommy has left  
Pog Bitches That Need Therapy (+ Dream)**_

**Wilbur** _  
_This bitch

_**Wilbur has added Tommy to  
Pog Bitches That Need Therapy (+ Dream)** _

**Tommy  
** why

**Wilbur  
** Cause I said so?

**Tommy  
** what are you a boomer

**Wilbur** _ **  
**_Never call me that again ever

**Tubbo** _ **  
**_hey tommy hey ranboo :)

**Tommy** _ **  
**_dont speak to me

**Tubbo  
** i will end your bloodline

**Ranboo** _ **  
**_why are yall Like That  
also hi tubbo :D

**Tubbo  
** friendship ended with tommy  
now ranboo is my bff

**Tommy** _ **  
**_ranboo where are you rn  
aksing for no particular reason

**Ranboo** _ **  
**_your fucking mom  
come back when youre taller  
than me bitch

**Tommy** _ **  
**_eat shit and die

_Dream is Online_

**Dream** _  
_Why am i here?

**Tommy** _ **  
**_fuck you

**Tubbo** _ **  
**_fuck you  
 _ **  
**_

 **Ranboo** _ **  
**_fuck you

 _ **  
**_ **Wilbur** _ **  
**_fuck you

_Technoblade is Online_

**Technoblade** **  
**fuck you

_Technoblade is Offline_

**Karl** _ **  
**_fuck you

**Quackity  
** fuck you

**Sapnap  
** fuck you

**George** _ **  
**_fuck you

**Fundy  
** fuck you

**Schlatt  
** fuck you

**Dream  
**??????  
what did i do??

**Ranboo  
** LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO  
no way did mans just ask that

**Tubbo  
** PLZZZZZ THAS SO FUNNY

**Tommy  
** the obliviousness

**Karl  
** "what did i do" 💀💀

**Sapnap  
** men are so stupid

**Quackity  
** im going to punt dr*am into  
the sun

**George  
** THE CENSOR😭😭😭😭

**Wilbur  
** I'd say you're a tyrant but I cant  
talk.  
My headass

**Tubbo  
** shut up millenial

**Wilbur  
** going dark.

**Fundy**  
hey siri is it immoral to call your ex  
who cheated on you a fucking dipshit  
she said no  
dr*am youre a fucking dipshit

**George  
** fundy want to make an 'my feelings  
for dr*am were used agaisnt me  
by the man himself' club

**Fundy  
** didnt you know we were dating at  
the time?

**George  
**.  
in my defense he told me that you  
were just a friend and wed been  
dating for longer than yall were

**Fundy  
** EW I HATE HIM SM  
how to get away with murder

_Technoblade is Online_

**Technoblade  
** I can help you get away with murder,  
Fundy.

**Dream  
** Why do you only come online when  
its related to my demise

**Tommy  
** have you met yourself

**Wilbur  
** Have you met yourself

**Technoblade  
** Have you met yourself?

**Dream  
** im being Harassed.

**George  
** didnt ask also youre a cheater

**Sapnap  
** k

**Karl  
** good❤️

**Quackity  
** i am going to kiss u

**Karl  
** omg do it

**Sapnap  
** uhm, wtf?

**Karl  
** guys guys  
theres enough karl to go around

**Quackity  
**.

**Sapnap  
**.

**Quackity**  
maybe i'll just date sapnap instead

**Sapnap  
** yeah im chill with that

**Karl  
** wAIT NO

**Tommy  
** please stop flerting in the gc i am  
begging you

**Ranboo  
** then beg.

**Tubbo  
** okay tumblr dot com

**Wilbur  
** It wasn't even in relation to you so  
it doesn't work I'm done.

**Fundy  
** not to change the subject but hey, Wil

**Wilbur  
** Yes, Fundy?

**Fundy  
** could you maybe try being a better dad  
for once in your life :)

**Wilbur  
**...

**Technoblade  
😬**

**Wilbur  
** Fuck off, Techno.

**Sapnap  
** the smile is so passive aggressive,,,,,

**Fundy  
** he blew up the country we built from the  
ground up and then pushed me to the side  
i'm allowed to be passive aggressive, Nicholas.

**Sapnap  
** not my name but pop off !!

**Quackity  
** okay but like, Fundy does deserve a good dad.  
he's chill

**Fundy  
** kisses u platonically

**Quackity  
** kisses u platonically back

**Sapnap  
** kisses u not platonically

**Karl  
** dhmu.

**Sapnap  
** who said u werent invited???

**Karl  
** shiiiiiid say less

**Schlatt  
** i hate gay people

**Quackity  
** schlatt.

**Schlatt  
** what?

**Quackity  
**.  
nvm

**Schlatt  
** anyways  
hey @Tommy @Wilbur  
do you guys still sell drugs

**Tommy  
** yes

**Wilbur  
** No.  
Wait what the fuck.

**Tommy  
**.  
jk?

**Wilbur  
** Bitch where did you get the drugs  
to sell?  
We're supposed to be a partnership  
why are you selling them without me?  
Tell me where you put them.

**Tommy  
** why would i tell you that  
its my stash  
you cant have it, wil

**Wilbur  
** Tommy I swear to fucking God, if  
you don't tell me where it is I'm taking  
all your shit.  
And I mean all of it.

**Tommy  
** I'm sorry.  
I'm really sorry, don't be mad.  
It's underneath the house in a chest.  
I'm sorry, please don't hate me.

**Wilbur  
**...  
What the fuck?

**Tubbo  
** Tommy it's okay, he didn't mean it  
like that.

**Ranboo  
** You're okay, Tommy. You're safe  
right now.

**Tommy  
** I gtg

_Tommy is Offline_

**Wilbur  
** And I say again; What the fuck?

**Tubbo  
** Not right now, Wil.

_Tubbo is Offline_

_Ranboo is Offline_

**Fundy  
** okay wtf?

**Schaltt  
** not that i care but is he okay?

**Karl  
** schlatt now is not the time to  
act like you have no emotions

**Quackity  
** i hope theyre okay :(

**Technoblade  
** That wasn't a very Tommy reaction.

**Sapnap  
** uhmmm???

**Geroge  
** yo what?

**Dream  
** You think they're okay?

**Wilbur  
** I'm sure that they'll be fine, but.  
That's like the opposite of a Tommy  
reaction.  
Kinda concerning.

**Technoblade  
** Kinda? I don't think I've ever seen him  
act like that, even when he was a toddler.  
That's off. Something happened.

**Fundy  
** Tubbo and Ranboo seemed to know what  
was wrong, should we ask them?

**George  
** Doubt they'd tell us.  
They seem like the type to say it isn't their  
secret to tell, no matter what the secret it.

**Sapnap  
** I'm sure if it was life threatening they would.

**Quackity  
** Have you met them?  
They're loud, definitely, but they keep their  
emotions and shit under wraps.  
The most emotion I've seen on Ranboo is  
confusion.

**Sapnap  
** Yeah, you're right.

**Wilbur  
** Hold on.

_**Wilbur has added Fundy, Sapnap, Quackity,  
Technoblade, George, Karl and Schlatt to  
NEW GROUP CHAT** _

_**ONLINE** _

_Karl is Online  
_

_Fundy is Online_

_Wilbur is Online_

_Schlatt is Online_

_George is Online_

_Sapnap is Online_

_Quackity is Online_

_Technoblade is Online_

**_OFFLINE_ **

_N/A_

_**Wilbur has named NEW GROUP CHAT to  
What's Wrong With Tommy?** _

**George  
** No Dream?

**Fundy  
** You wanted there to be?

**Wilbur  
** Do you trust a single word out  
of that pricks mouth?

**Sapnap  
** Fair, but he might get sus if we  
don't add him to a gc to discuss this.

**Technoblade  
** We sure we want him to have insider  
info, though?

**Karl  
** Y'all are dumb, just make another GC.

**Quackity  
** Three is so many tho

**Wilbur  
** I mean, it's all we can do.  
Use this one for subjects Dream can't know  
abt.

**Fundy  
** How would we differentiate them?

_**Wilbur has changed chat name to  
THIS ONE DOESN'T HAVE DREAM** _

**Fundy**  
I- **  
**Yeah, that'll do it.

_**Wilbur has added Dream, George, Sapnap,  
Fundy, Schaltt, Quackity, and Technoblade to  
NEW GROUP CHAT** _

_**ONLINE** _

_Karl is Online  
_

_Fundy is Online_

_Wilbur is Online_

_Dream is Online_

_Schlatt is Online_

_George is Online_

_Sapnap is Online_

_Quackity is Online_

_Technoblade is Online_

_**OFFLINE** _

_N/A_

_**Wilbur has named NEW GROUP CHAT to  
What's Wrong With Tommy?** _

**Wilbur  
** Right, let's get down to business.


	2. Okay I said the s-word for that already.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's seems focused on Tommy, but Dream has a one track mind.

_**ONLINE** _

_Karl is Online  
_

_Fundy is Online_

_Wilbur is Online_

_Dream is Online_

_Schlatt is Online_

_George is Online_

_Sapnap is Online_

_Quackity is Online_

_Technoblade is Online_

_**OFFLINE** _

_N/A_

_**What's Wrong With Tommy?** _

**Wilbur  
** Right, let's get down to business.

**Fundy  
** Does anyone have any situation or  
experience that they think could  
have caused that reaction?

**Schlatt  
** I thought It might have had something to  
do with the election and shit, like how  
Tubbo can't watch fireworks anymore, but  
I don't think anyone ever took away Tommy's  
stuff during then?

**Sapnap  
** Besides, you know, his citizenship.

**Schlatt  
** Okay I said the s-word for that already.

**George  
** Did you just call sorry the fucking s-word.

**Schlatt  
** I have trouble saying it.

**Technoblade  
** Can we focus? Tommy could be having a  
panic attack right now for all we know.

**Schlatt  
** Right, sorry.  
But yeah, I can't think of anything.  
At least not right now.

**Fundy  
** Me neither. I haven't really spoken to  
Tommy since he got back. He keeps  
avoiding me.

**Wilbur  
** Honestly, same.  
The group-chat was just an excuse to  
get him to talk to me, and even then  
he kind of avoided it.  
I'd talk and he'd go silent.  
I thought for a second he was going to  
fall back into our usual banter, but then  
this happened and I don't know what to  
think.

**Technoblade  
** I don't mean to interrupt Wil but...

**Wilbur  
** No it's fine.  
Go ahead.

**Technoblade  
** He seemed pretty defensive from the  
very start of that interaction.  
Like, "you can't have it" even though  
you were just curious about where he  
kept them because you'd never seen it  
and he isn't the best at hiding stuff.

**Dream  
** That's not true.  
He hides his discs pretty well.

**Technoblade  
** I mean... yeah. But that's a whole other  
situation.  
Anyways,  
He started freaking out when you said that  
you were gonna take all of his stuff. Like,  
I'm sure he would have kept being defensive  
if you hadn't said that, but that really flipped  
the switch in his brain.

**Quackity  
** Techno's right.  
That's not an attitude switch that should happen  
so quickly. He's had experience with that type of  
threat before, and it was traumatic enough to  
cause that knee jerk reaction in him for however  
long it's been since he last heard it.

**Schlatt  
** When did you guys get so analytical?

**Technoblade  
** Always have been, just never had to share it  
with other people.

**Quackity  
** I'm just good with analyzing emotions. Had  
a lot of practice with it.

**Schlatt  
** Right.  
So, who's all taken care of Tommy since he's  
been, you know, alive????

**Wilbur  
** Just Phil and I.

**Technoblade  
** Okay, but Phil wouldn't do that.

**Wilbur  
** You think I would?

**Technoblade  
** I mean, you did just threaten to do so.

**Wilbur**  
I thought we were joking around!

**Sapnap  
** Yeah, that's not fair to Wil, Techno.  
He didn't know

**Techno  
** You're right, you're right. But still.  
After what you pulled at the festival,  
I really don't know what you would  
and wouldn't do anymore, Wilbur.

**Fundy  
** Wait, no one was really taking care of him  
while he was in exile, right?  
Could have happened then?

**Wilbur  
** No one was allowed to visit him.  
Nearly got thrown in jail by bitch  
ass loser cunt face mcwhore over  
there for trying.

**Dream  
** I breathed.

**Wilbur  
** Then stop breathing and we  
won't have problems anymore.  
Simple problem, simple solution.

**George  
** LMFAOFKAOFJKSIOFJKSLFJ

**Fundy  
** WIL STOOPPPPPPPPP

**Techno  
** LOOOOOOOOOOL

**Karl  
** PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

**Quackity  
** LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO

**Sapnap  
** LOL

**Dream  
** ANYWAYS...  
I was, but only cause Tubbo asked me to  
make sure he was doing okay.  
Every time I went to check on him he never  
had tools or materials at all.

**Karl  
** So it had to have happened before you  
got there each time.

**Dream  
** Each time?

**Karl  
** Yeah?  
Do you really think Tommy would just sit  
back and not do anything all day for WEEKS?  
Smooth brain moment.

**Dream  
** True, Tommy doesn't know how to sit still.

**Wilbur  
** No, he does.  
He just prefers not to.

**Dream  
** Really? He told me that you guys thought  
his constant moving was annoying whenever  
I checked on him.  
Said he stopped doing it for your benefit.

**Wilbur  
** What??  
I never said that???

**Technoblade  
** Did he actually say that. Like, in those exact  
words?

**Dream  
** Well, not exactly.

  
  
 **Technoblade  
** Then he probably have meant something else.  
You're fine, Wil.  
He meant something else.

**Dream  
** Probably.

**George  
** Shut the fuck up.  
Like actually just stop talking, holy shit.

**Sapnap  
** LMFAO GEORGE

**George  
** We were all thinking it.

**Quackity  
** He's right, I was.

**Wilbur  
** FOCUS!!!

**Karl  
** Right, sorry.

**Sapnap  
** Are we sure we'd want to confront this  
head on?  
Like, do you think Tommy would come  
to us with this once he's ready to?

**Technoblade  
** Tommy has SERIOUS trust issues when  
it comes to most adults, so I doubt it.

**Wilbur  
** ^ This  
He used to trust me with a lot of his  
issues, but, y'know.

**George  
** "but y'know" is not how I ever expected  
anyone to describe blowing up an entire  
country, but sure. I know.  
I think that would should drop hints?  
Like, that we know something's off?  
Knowing Tommy he'll try to brush this  
off with a joke once he's better.

**Sapnap  
** I feel like that would make him anxious,  
though.

**Dream  
** No, it would work.  
I mean, the more you make someone  
believe you know what they're hiding  
the more likely they are to tell it to  
you.

**Karl  
** That sounds totally normal and not  
manipulative at all.

**Dream  
** If it works it works, doesn't it?  
Anything you can to get to the top,  
and if it hurts others who the fuck  
cares.  
Like, I guess I'd feel a TEENSY bit  
bad, but it doesn't matter if I win.

**George  
** Fundy we dated a literal sociopath.

**Fundy  
** Yeah I got that.

**Sapnap  
** KILL ALL MEN 2k21

**Karl  
** Alex and I are RIGHT HERE

**Quackity  
** Betrayed,,,,  
Heart broken,,,,,  
Desolate,,,,

**Sapnap  
** nO YOU GUYS ARE SWAG !!!

**Karl  
** nvm kill me.  
I don't wont to be in a world where  
people still use swag.  
Let me die.

**Quackity  
** ^ Bury us next to each other

**Wilbur  
** The boys are back online.

**Fundy  
** SPEEDY

_**ONLINE** _

_Karl is Online_

_Fundy is Online_

_Tubbo is Online_

_Wilbur is Online_

_Dream is Offline_

_Schlatt is Online_

_George is Online_

_Tommy is Online_

_Ranboo is Online_

_Sapnap is Online_

_Quackity is Online_

_Technoblade is Offline_

**_OFFLINE_ **

_N/A_

**_Pog Bitches That Need Therapy (+ Dream)_ **

**Tommy  
** damn i just blacked out for forty  
five minutes  
what did i miss men and dr*am

**George**  
Tell me how I knew.  
Tell me.

**Schlatt  
** all the sleep is making him think  
three dimensions ahead

**Wilbur  
** I mean, Tommy is rather predictable.

**Dream  
** True

**Wilbur  
** Never agree with me again.

**Dream  
** Okay i wont

**Wilbur  
** I swear to fucking God :)

**Ranboo  
** pls dont do the smile like that

**Technoblade  
** Tubbo used one earlier???

**Sapnap  
** ^^^^  
you seemed perfectly fine w/it  
then????????

**Ranboo  
** yeah but his was in a non-threatening  
way :((((  
and i trust tubbo

**Karl  
** i,,,,, **  
**Ranboo ilysm u are so valid

**Ranboo  
** :D thank you !!!

**Karl  
** brb sobbing

**Quackity  
** why is karl so emo over nice ranboo  
im done

**Tommy  
** YOOOOOOOOOOO  
WE CAN CHANGE OUR NAMES

**Wilbur  
** Oh, yeah! I forgot to tell you guys  
that.

**Schlatt  
** oh christ....

**_Tommy has changed his name to  
JUKEBOX_ **

**Tubbo  
** oh worm???

_ **Tubbo has changed his name to  
CAT** _

**Ranboo  
** i feel left out :((

**JUKEBOX  
** just be mellohi stupid  
you fit the color scheme

**Ranboo  
** KAFJMSFJSMFKDJSK  
i knew that

**CAT  
** no you didnt

**Ranboo  
** i didnt, yeah

_ **Ranboo has changed his name to  
MELLOHI** _

**CAT  
** the lads!!!!!

**JUKEBOX  
** me and my brothers

**MELLOHI  
** ive never really had friends before  
now so this is a first :)  
having matching nicknames and all

**CAT  
** ,,,,,,  
tomy,,,,,

**JUKEBOX  
** i know tubbo

**CAT  
** were his first best friends,,,,,,

**JUKEBOX  
** i know tubbo

**Karl  
** me still trying to think of a funny  
name bye-

**Dream  
** try being funny first

**Karl  
** I will skin you alive.

**Quackity  
** my funny meter went down once  
i realized i had to be funny

**Sapnap  
** cringe just type the first thing that  
comes to mind  
fucking losers

**Karl  
**.

**Quackity  
**.

_ **Karl has changed his name to  
Fuck You Sapnap** _

_ **Quackity has changed his name to  
Fuck You Sapnap pt.2** _

**Fuck You Sapnap  
** we did it

**Fuck You Sapnap pt. 2  
** what's your name gonna be, sapnap?

**Sapnap  
** ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  
sorry i gtg my plant wants me to make dinner

**Dream  
** Cowardice

**Sapnap  
** bitch?  
you know what, fuck you

_**Sapnap has changed his name to  
Tree Sap** _

**Tree Sap  
** youre a bitch and i hope u die

**Dream  
** LMAOOOOO???????  
I SAY ANYTHING AND SUDDENLY  
YALL MAKE JOKES ABOUT WANTING  
ME DEAD

**George  
** i dont think he was joking

**Tree Sap  
** I wasn't.

**Dream  
**.

_Dream is Offline_

**Fundy  
** OH FUCK YEA

**George  
** omg finally

_**George has changed his name to  
gogchamp** _

**Fundy  
** unfunny 2/10

**JUKEBOX  
** millennial humor,,,,,

**Fuck You Sapnap  
** he is literally peak millennial

**Fuck You Sapnap pt.2  
** KAM = Kill All Millennials

**MELLOHI  
** george how are you so lame  
have a matching nickname like  
the rest of us nerd

**CAT  
** LMAOOOIJDSKDJIK  
let him have this

**gogchamp  
** the matching is arguably????? so much  
more lame????

**CAT  
** fuck you die

**Technoblade  
** LOOOOOL  
What happened to "let him have this"?

**Fundy  
** LITERALLY LMFAOOOO  
HE ABANDONED THAT SO QUICK

**CAT  
** i am suddenly unable to read

**JUKEBOX  
** you couldnt read before either

**CAT  
** Choke on cold pasta and die.

**JUKEBOX  
** AJDKEKSLFKL???????

**Fuck You Sapnap  
** WHY COLD????

**CAT  
** IDK SEEMS LIKE A MORE UNPLEASANT  
EXPERIENCE

**FUNDY  
** IS DYING NOT ALREADY UNPLEASANT????

_ **Schlatt has changed his name to  
youre a pawn for the wealthy** _

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
** why are you making such a big deal about  
usernames???

**Wilbur  
** You can tell a lot about a person based on  
their username.  
For example, I can tell that I want to  
punch you in the face based on your user  
name and every single other thing about you.

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
** what did i ever do to you

**Wilbur  
** How much free time do you have?

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
** nvm ur voice is annoying plz dont  
calle me for this  
still, why are you making such a huge  
deal about usernames?

_ **Technoblade has changed his name to  
EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST** _

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
** let them argue its fun to watch

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
** you would say that

**The Best Furry Son  
** lol  
BITCH WHO CHANGED MY NAME????????

**Wilbur  
** Definitely not me.

**The Best Furry Son  
** im putting myself up for adoption

_ **The Best Furry Son has changed his name to  
funds :D** _

**gogchamp  
** okay but why is that kinda adorable

**funds :D  
** thank you :)

**gogchamp  
** KLSAJDKSJFMSKLJF  
I LOVE MY FRIENDS SO SO MUCH  
I HAVE TO GO CRY BRB

_gogchamp is Offline_

**funds :D  
** what did i do D:


	3. big men with bigger trauma

_ **ONLINE** _

_i resign is Online_

_i've forgotten is Online_

_where my shit go is Online_

_**OFFLINE** _

_N/A_

**_big men with bigger trauma_ **

**where my shit go  
** if i had a breakdown over wil  
making a joke, i didnt because  
i did. no i didnt <3

**i resign  
** plz deal with your trama in  
a helthier way plz

**where my shit go  
** no.

**i've forgotten  
** tubbo you cant talk  
fucking 'This reminds me of  
that time someone shot a fire-  
work at me' headass

**where my shit go  
** LMFAOOOOO

**i resign  
**.  
that wasnt me actually,,,,

  
  
 **i've forgotten  
** THE BLATANT LIES?????  
IT'S LITERALLY IN MY  
MEMORY BOOK??????  
Unless i'm forgetting again  
i mean the memory book  
isn't trust worthy,a fter all  
  
  


 **i resign  
** NO !!!!  
IT IS !!!  
I WAS MAKING A JOKE!!!!  
I DID SAY THAT !!!  
YOURE RIGHT !!!!  
I'm sorry I wasn't thinking :(

**i've forgotten  
** it's fine.  
i just freaked out...

**where my shit go  
** they were worried abt me and  
then the gc went silent for a  
sec,,,  
they made a second gc to  
talk about it.

**i resign  
** howd you et to that conclison?

**where my shit go  
** just makes sense  
they arent stupid enough to  
talk abt it with us in the gc

**i've forgotten  
** true but would dream went  
quiet too  
which means they also added  
him  
even though they dont like him

**i resign  
** they dont know the scale of  
what he did to us, we cant  
blame them for that

**where my shit go  
** oajfjfifso  
he probably said he was   
worried about us, too  
or some other fucking lie

**i've forgotten  
** i dont like dream very much  
:(  
any samers in the chat ??

**where my shit go  
** same

**i resign  
** same

**i've forgotten  
** we need to tell them what he  
did to us sooner or later

**where my shit go  
** no but good try

**i resign  
** we cant get better until we tell  
people, tommy

**where my shit go  
** thats hilarious coming from you.

**i resign  
** im just trying to help  
dont get mad at me.

**where my shit go  
** youre right im sorry

**i've forgotten  
** itll only get better when we let it.  
we cant keep dealing with this on  
our own, tommy.

**where my shit go  
** i know.  
i'm just not ready yet.  
im sorry.

**i've forgotten  
** its fine.  
we can all do it together once  
youre ready

**i resign  
** ^ thats a good idea

**where my shit go  
** thanks guys  
youre the best

**i've forgotten  
** yeah thats what happens when  
you befriend the coolest people  
alive or whatever

**i resign  
** yeah im kinda the best at  
comforting ppl no bd

**where my shit go  
** nvm i hate you both

**i resign  
** KANFMKLSJFMKSFL

**i've forgotten  
** heart been broke so many times

_**ONLINE** _

_CAT is Online_

_Wilbur is Online_

_Tree Sap is Online_

_MELLOHI is Online_

_JUKEBOX is Online_

_Fuck You Sapnap is Online_

_Fuck You Sapnap pt.2 is Online_

**_OFFLINE_ **

_Dream is Offline_

_funds :D is Offline_

_gogchamp is Offline_

_youre a pawn for the wealthy is Offline_

_EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST is Offline_

**_Pog Bitches That Need Therapy (+ Dream)_ **

**JUKEBOX  
** okay but like why DID you add  
dr*am?

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
** ^^^  
he's a bitch

**Wilbur  
** @Dream

_Dream is Online_

**Dream  
**?

**Wilbur  
** get fucked bitch

**Dream  
** oh

_Dream is Offline_

**JUKEBOX  
** AKDJOMKSKNFJSKFNJK  
okay good reason

**Wilbur  
** Of course it is.  
Anyways, I've gotta go for  
now.  
Talk to you later.

**JUKEBOX  
** no you wont

_Wilbur is Offline_

**MELLOHI  
** notice how the only two that   
haven't changed their names  
are/were tyrants

**CAT  
** this says a lot about socity

_ **Fuck You Sapnap has changed his name to  
listens sweater weather (derogatory)** _

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
** its too cold,,,,,,,,, for you here,,,  
and now,,,,,

**Fuck You Sapnap pt.2  
** you ditched our matching names to  
get into your feels i hate it here

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
** thus the 'derogatory'

**Tree Sap  
** WAIT BUT THAT SONG GOES HARD

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
** RIGHT????

**JUKEBOX  
** are you what the kids call  
"el gee bee tee queue plus"??  
  


**Fuck You Sapnap pt.2  
** why did you say it like that

**Tree Sap  
** LITERALLY

_ **Fuck You Sapnap pt.2 has changed his name to  
featherless biped** _

**featherless biped  
** retweet if you get the joke

_EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST is online_

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
** literally everyone gets that joke

**CAT  
** wait what is it :0  
i dont get it

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
** bye.

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory  
** Tubbo.

**Tree Sap  
** crying

**featherless biped  
** how do you,,,,,  
im crying how do you not know  
youre nearly eighteen  
surely youve read on this  
before????

**CAT  
** imagine reading  
cringe

**JUKEBOX  
** reading is for nerds and pussies

**MELLOHI  
** i like to read :(

**JUKEBOX  
** reading is for big strong men  
that get loads of women

**CAT  
** imagine not reading  
cringe

**featherless biped  
** simps.  
the lot of ya.

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
** do we have room to talk?

**Tree Sap  
** ^

_funds :D is Online_

_gogchamp is Online_

**funds :D  
** @CAT @JUKEBOX @MELLOHI  
yall know how to hide a body?  
gogy and i have a bet

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
** they do

**CAT  
** we do

**JUKEBOX  
** we do

**MELLOHI  
** we do

**gogchamp  
** fuck

**funds :D  
** i told you !!!!  
you owe me ten dollars now :)

**gogchamp  
** alright  
I'll venmo you

**listens to sweather weather (derogatory)  
** that was so obviously the wrong  
side of the bet????  
why would you pic it????

**gogchamp  
** shut up karl youre short

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
** ,,,,,, why would you say that?

**featherless biped  
** fuck you george.  
short kings rise

**Tree Sap  
** go besties  
AYO WAIT

**gogchamp  
**?

**Tree Sap**  
YOU NEVER LET UP THAT EASILY  
FOR ME WTF?????

**gogchamp  
** fundy's cooler than you soooo

**funds :D  
** :)))

**Tree Sap  
** crying.

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
** its okay sapnap  
i like you

**featherless biped  
** i also like you

**Tree Sap  
** im gonna kiss u guys on the mouth

**JUKEBOX  
** take it to dms im begging

**MELLOHI  
** george is tier 3 subbing fundy rn

**CAT  
** RANBOO LMAOOOO

**funds :D  
** KALFNSJLKF????  
GEORGE

**gogchamp  
**?

**funds :D  
** THIS IS 1000 EUROS????

**CAT  
** HE IS TIER 3ING HIM OMG

**MELLOHI  
** i predicted the future

**gogchamp  
** FUCK OFF NO IM NOT  
ANYWHORE  
just keep it, funds  
i have money to throw away

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
** Oh?

**featherless biped  
** his stupid ass crying

**gogchamp  
** i mean  
i am dirt poor please give me  
my money back Fundy, for it is  
my entire life savings and i need  
it to survive

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
** How stupid do you think I am?

**gogchamp  
** i dont want to answer that.

**JUKEBOX  
** I mean, I did rob him last week, so.  
It very well could be all his money.

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
** You....  
AND YOU GOT AWAY WITH IT?????

**funds :D  
** not surprised

**MELLOHI  
** why did you just admit to that

**CAT  
** he puts signs down whenever he  
robs someone. they would have  
found out sooner or later

**MELLOHI  
** fair

**gogchamp  
** wait what?  
you robbed me?

**JUKEBOX  
** wait did you not know yet

**gogchamp  
**???????????  
no?????????  
  


 **EAT THE RICH BY PAY ME FIRST  
** LOOOOOL

**funds :D  
** TOMMY I SWEAR LMAO

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
** LMKFAIFLKSJFOSILK

**featherless biped  
** LMAOOOOOO

**Tree Sap  
** TOMMY LMFAOOOOO

**JUKEBOX  
** I did not rob you. What are you  
talking about. That was simply  
a joke. None of your things are  
missing, I promise.  
Definitely do not check the chest  
room in the west area of your home,  
for nothing there is out of place and  
you have no reason to.

**gogchamp  
**.......  
i'm checking

**MELLOHI  
** he just said not to

**CAT  
** yeah did you not read the message?

**gogchamp**  
WHAT THE FUCK?????

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
👀**

**funds :D  
👀  
**

**Tree Sap  
👀**

**featherless biped  
👀**

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
👀  
**

**JUKEBOX  
** i told you not to check  
why did you check

**gogchamp  
** HOW THE FUCK DID YOU STEAL MY  
FLOORBOARDS????????  
MORE IMPORTANTLY W H Y DID YOU  
STEAL MY FLOORBOARDS??????

**JUKEBOX  
** idk lol

**gogchamp  
** all of my shit is replace with dirt im-

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
** I taught him well.

**gogchamp**  
i hate tommy i hate tommy i hate  
tommy i hate tommy i hate tommy  
i hate tommy i hate tommy i hate  
tommy i hate tommy i hate tommy  
i hate tommy i hate tommy i hate

**JUKEBOX  
** everyone does you arent special

**MELLOHI  
** tommy no,,,,,

**JUKEBOX  
** tommy YES


	4. currently fearing for my life.

_**ONLINE** _

_CAT is Online_

_Wilbur is Online_

_funds :D is Online_

_Tree Sap is Online_

_MELLOHI is Online_

_JUKEBOX is Online_

_gogchamp is Online_

_featherless biped is Online_

_youre a pawn for the wealthy is Online_

_EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST is Online_

_listens to sweater weather (derogatory) is Online_

**_OFFLINE_ **

_Dream is Offline_

**_Pog Bitches That Need Therapy (+ Dream)_ **

**featherless biped  
**thinking abt my truck.

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**??????  
what???????

**Tree Sap  
**hes thinkin abt his truck

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**he???? does not own one???

**JUKEBOX  
**says who???

**MELLOHI  
**yeah karl how do u know  
he doesnt own one????

**CAT  
**yeah karl  
making assumpchuns

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**Okay but consider:  
Alex is too short to reach the pedals.

**featherless biped  
**Die in a plane crash, whore.

**Wilbur  
**LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**ALEX LMAO

**gogchamp  
**CRYING

**funds :D  
**yall r so rude to him and for what  
LMAOOOOOOOO

**Tree Sap  
**go bestie go bestie go

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**pop off alex

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**Do you wanna fight?

**featherless biped  
**No sir. I'm sorry, sir.

**JUKEBOX  
**pussy

**featherless biped  
**sorry what was that?  
i thought a bitch that was  
younger that everyone else in  
the gc tried to say something

**JUKEBOX  
**okay at least im not 5'2"

**featherless biped  
**I AM LITERALLY 5'8"?????

**CAT  
**damn.

**MELLOHI  
**tubbo be so short i cry

**Wilbur  
**wait who's the shortest here

**CAT  
**no we dont need to talk abt that  
i think

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**thats not suspicious at all

**Wilbur  
**Definitely. No need to think  
deeper on that at all.

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**hmmm......,,,,  
who could it be, i wonder....

**gogchamp  
**its tubbo.

**CAT  
**shut up bitch  
your standards are so low you dated  
DR*AM of all people.  
literally fucking DR*AM.  
the awdacity to think you have room  
to speak in ANY conversashun  
im done.  
dead, even.  
deceased, if you will.

**gogchamp  
**.

**Tree Sap  
**LMFAOOOOOO IM DONE

**featherless biped  
**PLZZZZZZZZZZZZ

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**why'd he go for his neck like that

**funds :D  
**did he lie??

**JUKEBOX  
**tubbo popping off?

**MELLOHI  
**its more likely than you think.

**Wilbur  
**I adore Tubbo with my entire being.

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**sometimes children are cool ig

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**LOOOOOOOOOOL  
Why are the youngest so funny?

**gogchamp  
**you cant be mean to me

**CAT  
**and why tf not?

**gogchamp  
**simple  
i am babey

**CAT  
**..........  
BITCH IF YOU DONT  
FUCKING SHUT UP I  
SWEAR TO THE LORD HOLY  
JESUS THAT I WILL FOLD YOUR  
ASS LIEK A LAWN CHAIR AN  
THROW YUO IN A MEAGT  
GRINGER  
FUCKING WHORE  
"i am babey" YEAH IN THE  
SENSE THAT I COULD ROCK  
YOUR SHIT WITH EASE  
WAH FUCKING WAH BITCH  
ONE OF THIS NIGHRS YOURE  
GONNA WAKE UP ANDI WILL   
JUST BE TSANDING OVER YOU  
AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT  
YOUEW FUCKING DEAD  
IM SO FUCKIJNG MAS RIGHR   
NOW YOU DONT UNDERSTRAND  
IM FKIKGNKLJDKMSFNSJFNAJA  
KAJSFIUUSJIJKHNSMJIFKLIOJP  
KSJMRIUWJQIAKJRSUJHAKJDK  
JIKRHJUSH  
I will be right back, friends and  
George. I must do my breathing  
excercises to calm down. Please  
continue the conversation without  
me.

_CAT is offline_

**JUKEBOX  
**LMFAOOOOOOOOO **  
**

**MELLOHI  
**LMFOAIKFJAKFJSKF  
we'll brb  
gotta calm him down

_MELLOHI is_ _offline_

_JUKEBOX is offline_

**gogchamp  
**currently fearing for my life.

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**Has Tubbo always been this...  
violent?

**Wilbur  
**Totally.  
He just doesn't show it as  
much as Tommy does.

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**the amount of times he looked on  
the verge of running a knife through  
my eyes??? uncountable.

**funds :D  
**he is filled with so much rage and  
it terrifies me  
gogy you are so lucky that interaction  
didnt happen face to face or you wld  
be a dead man

**gogchamp  
**you wouldnt protect me?

**funds :D  
**I value my life, so no.  
love u tho <3

**gogchamp  
**im not saying it back

**funds :D  
**heart been broke so many times

**gogchamp**  
fuck your heart i have a hit on  
me.

**Tree Sap  
**tbf, id leave you for dead too  
tubbo is oddly intimidating

**featherless biped  
**the absence of height does not mean  
the absence of a menacing presence.

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**id rather fight ranboo than tubbo  
tbh.  
like, ranboo may be eight billion  
feet tall but at least he shows mercy

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**he is half my size but he could  
kill me,,,, so quickly,,,,,

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**Being on Tubbo's bad side seems...  
so scary....

**featherless biped  
**being on his good side is scary tbh  
seeing how pissed he gets is jsut,,,  
not poggers,,,

**Wilbur  
**It is.  
It absolutely fucking is.  
I beat him in Monopoly once, like,  
five years ago.  
Still convinced he's plotting my  
downfall.

**featherless biped  
**if tubbo EVER side eyes me, i will  
start praying.  
i take no chances

_Dream is online_

**Dream  
**just finished making a rug

**featherless biped  
**any askers?

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**any askers?

**Wilbur  
**any askers?

**gogchamp  
**any askers?

**funds :D  
**any askers?

**Tree Sap  
**any askers?

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**any askers?

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**any askers?

**Dream  
**i get bullied and for what

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**do you need the list????  
cause i have a list.

**Dream  
**suddenly i cant read

**featherless biped  
**dream be like: the consequences  
to my own actions? shieeeeettttt  
is that a sauce?

**Tree Sap  
**dream be like: i may be the worst  
person on earth

**gogchamp  
**dream be like: i am literally  
a war criminal

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**we're all war criminals  
bad point

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**depends on what we consider a war  
crime  
like.  
do we even have a criteria for them?

**Wilbur  
**"Does our country even have a criteria  
for what is and isn't a war crime" is not  
a question I ever thought I would read  
but is one that I now desperately want  
to know the answer to.

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**i would @ tubbo but,,,,,  
for the sake of my own head i shant

**gogchamp  
**smart  
we can just ask once hes calm

**Wilbur  
**I'm crying what does and what  
doesn't count.

**funds :D  
**youre definitely a war criminal

**Wilbur  
**Well yeah  
But what about yall???

**Dream  
**im the only one that isnt a war criminal

**featherless biped  
**speak when spoken to, whore.

**Tree Sap  
**RIP Dr*am.  
He's not dead, I just hate his ass.

**Wilbur  
**He speaks and for what?

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**tuning his voice out as we speak

**gogchamp  
**I'm going to kill you.

**funds :D  
**i think of dr*am and i vomit in  
my mouth

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**every day i wake up and every day  
im reminded that dr*am exists and  
then i cry

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**my day be so fine then BOOM  
dr*am.

**Wilbur  
**my l'manberg be so fine then BOOM.  
thats it thats the meme.

**funds :D  
**STOP I HATE IT HERE

**Tree Sap  
**LMFALOFJSKJFMSIKJFK

**featherless biped  
**NOW WHYD YOU GO THAT FAR

**gogchamp  
**IM DEAD LMAO

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**STOOOOOOPPPPPPPPP

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**yall are: mentally ill

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**We really are.

_MELLOHI is online_

_JUKEBOX is online_

**JUKEBOX  
**WE FAILED TO CALM HIM DOWN  
WE FAILED SO HARD  
HOLY SHIT  
HOLY FUCKING SHIT

**gogchamp  
**?  
wtf  
why is Tubbo outside my house???

**MELLOHI  
**George.  
Run.

**gogchamp  
**I-  
Nah im leaving  
tell dr*am hes a bitch

**Dream  
**im literally still here

**gogchamp  
**oh **  
** dream youre a bitJM  
AKFIFJJAKD  
George is busy right now.  
See you guys later ! :D

_gogchamp is Offline_

**funds :D  
**.  
should we.  
help him.

**MELLOHI  
**nah hes in gods hands now

**JUKEBOX  
**rip george fly high 🙏🕊💞

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**We can give him a vikings funeral

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**i heard there was a secret cord,,,,

**featherless biped  
**what should we put on his  
obituary?

**Tree Sap  
**nothing.  
let him die in mystery.

**Wilbur  
**Should we make him a See You Again  
style tribute

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**NOT SEE YOU AGAIN LMFAOOOO  
but no  
i say we make him a google slides  
tribute with comic sans and shit  
and someone can sing while it plays  
at least one glass break transition

**Wilbur  
**Perfect.  
That's so big brain.

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**yeah im like a genius or whatever

**Wilbur  
**I hope you have a heart attack.

**JUKEBOX  
**i will sing mr. brightside at his  
funeral completely off key

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**Good idea.  
No dress code, show up looking  
like you just woke up for all I  
fucking care.

**funds :D  
**dr*am isnt invited and thats  
the only rule

**Dream  
**what the fuck

**funds :D  
**shut the fuck up<3

**Dream  
**.

_Dream is Offline_

**Wilbur  
**Right lets fucking do this

_**ONLINE** _

_CAT is Online_

_Wilbur is Online_

_funds :D is Online_

_Tree Sap is Online_

_MELLOHI is Online_

_JUKEBOX is Online_

_featherless biped is Online_

_youre a pawn for the wealthy is Online_

_EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST is Online_

_listens to sweater weather (derogatory) is Online_

**_OFFLINE_ **

_Dream is Offline_

_gogchamp is Online_

**_Pog Bitches That Need Therapy (+ Dream)_ **

**featherless biped  
**thats why having babies is a total scam

**MELLOHI  
**several points were made

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**I'm convinced.

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**pop off !!!

**JUKEBOX  
**okay but fax

**Wilbur  
**my man is speaking the truth

**youre a pawn for the weatlhy  
**i agree

**Tree Sap  
**his only point was "they dont pay  
taxes" what do you mean "i agree"

**CAT  
**but did he lie?

**featherless biped  
**did i lie??

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**the man is right, who am i to  
disagree with genius?

_gogchamp is Online_

**gogchamp  
**why the fuck is there a grave for  
me in front of the community  
house


	5. nooooooo dont emotionaly maniopulate me ur so segsy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> process your trauma, it's the best way to heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// anxiety and panic attacks

_ **ONLINE** _

_i resign is Online_

_i've forgotten is Online_

_where my shit go is Online_

_**OFFLINE** _

_N/A_

**_big men with bigger trauma_ **

**i resign  
**damn baby your emootonaly  
maniputlative personality is  
so traumatizing ahaha you  
free tonight?

**i've forgotten  
**get help

**i resign  
**im trying

**where my shit go  
**tubbo wh

**i resign  
**nooooooo dont emotionaly  
maniopulate me ur so segsy

**where my shit go  
**plz why do we all cope like this

**i've forgotten  
**noooo dont take advantage of  
my memory issues ur so  
seggsy ahaha

**where my shit go  
**noooo dont isolate me from the  
people i care about ur so seggsy

**i've forgotten  
**okay but really  
like... he terrifies me...  
i know that we were all like haha  
funny when wil added him to the  
gc just so we could bully him but  
like  
it makes me so uncomfortable to  
have him there.  
just in the background.  
able to read all of the shit we say.  
it feels like hes watching me.  
i hate it.  
god i hate it so much  
i just want to feel safe again  
whyd he have to choose us of all  
people?  
what the fuck did we do?  
im glad my friends dont have to  
deal with this but fuck  
whyd he have to do this shit  
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck  
i jsut  
fukc

**i resign  
**Ranboo where are you right now

**i've forgotten  
**i dont know fuck  
fuck fuck i dont know  
where the fuck am i  
FUCK FUCKi  
Canta breath  
helo fuikc

_where my shit go is starting a group call_

_i've forgotten and i resign have joined the call_

When the call connects, all that Tommy can hear is Ranboo's frantic intakes of breath. The gasps that sound like they hurt, the items falling over as Ranboo runs into them blindly trying to find something to ground himself, he can distantly hear Tubbo trying to talk to him, but Ranboo's too loud for it to come through clearly and it doesn't help that Tommy's own connection is spacey because he's in the Nether.

A ghast cries somewhere in the distance and a piglin groans below as Tommy takes a seat atop one of the trees in the Warped forest. He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath in to calm his own head to make sure he doesn't panic. His skin feels clammy from the heat, sweat rolling down his face, and he speaks, "Ranboo."

He can hear it echo through someones end, presumably Tubbo's because he tends to call people on speaker, and he sounds distorted. Ranboo's breathing gets more frantic at the sound, and Tommy curses under his breath. Ranboo's told him that he dislikes when people sound distorted, that it reminds him of the voices he hears sometimes, and Tommy should have realized that his voice would come through as static due to the dimensional difference.

Ranboo tries to speak, but it comes out garbled and too quickly to really understand, and that makes him more worried. Tommy can tell he's trying to speak, can tell he wants to speak so badly, and he can't. He can't and it's making him panic even more. There's the faint sound of something hitting the floor, and then scratching, and Tommy knows that he's slid himself onto the ground and is trying to grip the floorboards. It also confirms that his nails are elongated, and that means they've got barely a few minute before Ranboo's completely out of it for the next hour or so. Ranboo had once described it as 'going full Endo', whatever the fuck that meant, but they've yet to actually see it happen.

"Shit." he hears Tubbo say. Couldn't have said it better himself. "Ranboo, listen to me, alright. I need you to listen to me. Tap twice on the floor if you're listening to me." there's silence, not counting the frantic breathing, before two light taps sound through, "Good job! Oh, that's great. You're doing good. Alright, can you take in a deep breath for me?"

Ranboo takes in a hiccup of breaths, and Tommy furrows his brow. The ghast cries again, farther away this time, and Tommy thinks that he should just make his way back to the over world so he can actually help. He hops off the tree, running through the forest as he dodges the arrows being shot his way and ignoring the uncomfortable heat on his face as the landscape passes in a blur. He can hear Tubbo doing his best to guide Ranboo through breathing, but it doesn't seem to be working.

The portals in his sights when he finally tunes back into the conversation and slows his feet into a light jog. Tubbo is a lot more frantic himself, and Ranboo is mumbling under his breath. Tommy slips past a pig-man as he enters the portal, and in the blink of an eye he's back in the over world.

The call sounds less like static now, Ranboo's mumbling being much clearer, and the oppressive heat is no longer beating down on him. He wipes his brow, letting the breeze run over him, and sighs. A bird flies over head, some sort of crow if he had to guess, and he can see Ranboo's crown reflecting the moons light over some of the trees. Thank God for Ranboo's ridiculous height.

"Tubbo," he says, "I found him. He's near the main portal."

"Right, I'll be right there." he says, they end the call.

Tommy runs over to where Ranboo is standing, looking around frantically as he grips his hair tightly in his hands. His eyes are wide, shoulders hunched and while his air intake isn't quick enough for him to be hyperventilating, his breathing isn't regulated either. His suit is rumpled, tie nowhere to be found, he looks practically solid black and that tells Tommy that they're too late.

Tommy covers his ears in anticipation as the tell-tale sound of an Enderman's screech fills the air while Ranboo vibrates. His mouth opens impossibly wide, practically melting into itself like some sort of goop, and he screams at the sky. His fits are closed tightly, purple blood falling from them as his long nails dig into the skin of his palms, and Tommy falls over from the sheer force of the scream as it shakes the ground. This is the worst that Tommy's ever seen him. Tommy's seen him _vwroop_ and once or twice he's seen Ranboo's nails get too long to be considered natural, but this is full blown.

Tubbo runs up to him, his ears covered with earmuffs as he offers a hand to Tommy. Ranboo refuses to make eye contact with them, and they don't try to make him, as he scratches at the trees around him. It's nearly midnight, but Tommy wouldn't be surprised if someone else were awake and were to stumble across this. Tubbo looks frightened, and Tommy knows that he does, too, but Ranboo easily takes the cake for most scared right now.

He keeps gesturing around, trying to talk but only making the noises that every Enderman does, and grasping at his throat as if that will make it work. He looks desperate to go back to normal, or at least as normal as he usually is, and Tommy can't help but think that's a good idea.

He starts to think up ways to calm him down before he really goes catatonic, but then Ranboo stands up straight, picks up a grass block, and walks in the other direction.

He and Tubbo share a glance with one another and nod. Tommy grabs Ranboo's left arm while Tubbo grabs his right and they lead him to the portal.

When Ranboo wakes from his Enderman state, they're sitting atop the same tree Tommy had been earlier. Tubbo is explaining his fascination with bees while Tommy argue that moth's are much cooler. Ranboo feels a grass block in his lap and looks down at it, there's a flower placed on it that definitely hadn't been there when he picked it up because with how it's set down it would have fallen off on the walk here. His hands sting, and he he can sees the punctures from his nails were incredibly deep. That's going to take weeks to heal.

A quiet _evrup_ from his left makes him turn. It's an Enderman, looking at him with as much concern as it can convey, looking at Tommy and Tubbo for a few seconds before looking back to Ranboo. He looks at the two teens, Tubbo now trying to escape a headlock that Tommy put him in, before turning back to the Enderman with a smile and a quick thumbs up. The Enderman nods as well before it's gone, leaving behind nothing but a trail of it's purple magic.

"Ah, shit!" Tommy yells, and Ranboo turns back to see his rubbing his ribs, "Shit, man, you didn't have to elbow me that hard." he whines, and Tubbo rolls his eyes.

"Maybe you shouldn't have put me in a headlock, then."

"I'm with Tubbo on this one," Ranboo says, playing the grass block to the side, "Anything is free game in a headlock."

"Thank you, Ranboo!" Tubbo says with a smile, before turning the him, "Oh, you're back! God, you scared the shit out of us!"

Ranboo rubs the back of his neck at that, "Sorry." he says. He feels kind of embarrassed that he let himself get that bad, and that his closest friends ever had to see him like that. He hasn't broken down that bad in months (maybe it's years?) and for it to have happened in front of two people after he'd been having a perfectly good day makes him feel a little more than a little bit pathetic.

Tommy smiles at him, "No need to apologize, dude. We were just worried about you."

Tubbo nods, "You were out of it for, like, three hours. Didn't know when you were gonna be back."

That's... the longest he's even been like that. His previous record had been around forty-five minutes to an hour, and that was when he'd already been having a bad day. He runs a hand through his hair reflexively and its then he notices his crown is gone. He doesn't even have to say anything before Tommy answers, the look of confusion on his face enough apparently.

"It's right here," he says, holding out the crown. Ranboo takes it and places it back on his head, "You kept knocking it off, so we just stopped trying to make you put it back on."

They both still look tense, Ranboo notes. Tommy isn't quite as laid back as usual, and Tubbo's smile is so painfully obviously fake that Ranboo is confused on how he's ever managed to sell a lie in his life. He doesn't like that they're tense. He hates it. He wants his friends to be happy, carefree. God, this is the worst.

They sit in silence for a little while, Tommy and Tubbo practically glued to his sides and the nether moves around them. The lave bubbles, ghast's cry, piglins and pigmen alike groan below. Ranboo can feel Tommy's chest rise and fall due to their position, and he can feel the way that Tubbo is trying to discretely hold onto his arm to get as much contact with him as possible. He can feel when Tommy's arm reaches behind him to grab at Tubbo, and he can feel when their hands interlock behind him. Their arrangement is uncomfortable, but not at the same time. Tommy will deny it until he dies, but they were definitely cuddling on the tree and he was definitely smiling as they did so.

At some point, Tubbo falls asleep and he's followed closely by Tommy. Ranboo isn't really tired, and he doesn't trust any of the other mobs in the nether not to attack them if all three of them are asleep. The ghast's like him, being half ghast after all, but he's not going to take his chances. They sleep soundly at his side, still holding each others hands loosely behind him, and he rubs his hands down their backs for comfort. It's nice. It's really nice. He likes doing this with them. They should do this more often.

He's not sure how much time passes before Tubbo wakes up, or how much time passes between them starting a conversation and Tommy finally waking up, but he knows that after they've walked back to the portal, arms linked in a chain, with smiles spread on their faces and they step through it, the sun is coming up on the horizon. It looks beautiful.

They stand there for a little bit, arms still linked as the birds chirp in the early morning light and the world wakes up around them. Tubbo lets out a content sigh, and Ranboo smiles to himself. It's not often they're quiet, but this is the perfect scenery for them to be, Ranboo thinks.

The sun is a good ways into the sky as they lay on a hillside and watch clouds pass. They've barely spoken since they came back, and it startles both Tubbo and Ranboo when Tommy finally says,

"I think I'm ready to tell them."

_**ONLINE** _

_Wilbur is Online_

_Dream is Online_

_funds :D is Online_

_Tree Sap is Online_

_gogchamp is Online_

_featherless biped is Online_

_youre a pawn for the wealthy is Online_

_EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST is Online_

_listens to sweater weather (derogatory) is Online_

_**OFFLINE** _

_CAT is Offline  
_

_MELLOHI is Offline_

_JUKEBOX is Offline_

**_Pog Bitches That Need Therapy (+_ ** _**Dream)**  
1:32 P.M_

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**im just saying that its kinda weird  
to have an obsession with greek  
mythology

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**I didn't ask.

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**youre literally one of the most  
skilled fighters i know and  
thats your response

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**To be fair, I didn't ask.

_CAT is Online_

_MELLOHI is Online_

_JUKEBOX is Online_

**MELLOHI  
**aight lads lets do this

**CAT  
**swaggg

**JUKEBOX  
**lol why am i shaking ahaha  
any samers in chat

**MELLOHI  
**same

**CAT  
**same

**Wilbur  
**What is happening?

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**im scared

**featherless biped  
**this cant be good

**Dream  
**?

**gogchamp  
**whats happening?

**funds :D  
**what are yall planning oh no

**MELLOHI  
**yee of little faith >:(

**CAT  
**wait  
tommy add phil or wev

**JUKEBOX  
**BET

**_JUKEBOX has added Phil to  
Pog Bitches The Need Therapy (+ Dream)_ **

**Phil  
**What the fuck?

**CAT  
**don't ask

**JUKEBOX  
**ALRIGHT  
Ranboo can you do the honors?

**MELLOHI  
**Bet  
@everyone  
what if dr*am emotionally manipulated  
and abused me, Tommy, and Tubbo and  
that's why we're so fucking weird these  
days ahaha 🥴🥴 jkjk...... unless 😳👀

**JUKEBOX  
**damn i think youre onto something 👀👀

**CAT  
**shiiiiiiiiiiiiiidddddd 👀👀👀👀

**Wilbur  
**...

**featherless biped  
**...

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**...

**Tree Sap  
**...

**Phil  
**...

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**...

**funds :D**  
...

**gogchamp  
**...

**JUKEBOX  
👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀**

**CAT  
👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀  
**

**MELLOHI  
👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀  
**

**_Dream has left  
Pog Bitches The Need Therapy (+ Dream)_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> clingy trio !!!!!!! they are best friends :)


	6. Together

It had been written jokingly. Written as though it weren't a big deal and it hadn't been keeping the three boys up late every night. Written so offhandedly that Wilbur wasn't entirely sure what to make of it, and it appeared that no one else did, either. The way that all three of them reacted to it so carelessly, like it didn't matter.

No, he thinks, it does matter. It matters so much, and they know it does. They know better than anyone else. Wilbur can tell in the way that this was so obviously pre-planned. It the way that they made sure to add Phil, the only other adult with real connection to any of them, the the chat before dropping it. The way they always went offline one after the other when one of them started acting weird. How they're closer to each other right now than Wil is to his own family. It matters, and they know it does, and they're making sure everyone else knows as well.

The thing that finally snaps everyone out of their dazes is the notification that Dream left the group chat. It's the straw that broke the camels back, if you will. The chat explodes with messages, Karl even opting to ditch his normal typing style in order to be more formal due to the gravity of the situation. Alex is texting them in Spanish while Schlatt translates (Wil didn't even know he could speak Spanish), Sapnap is sending loads of question marks, George is demanding an elaboration, and Fundy is asking where they are so he can comfort them.

The silence of Phil, Techno, and himself is painfully obvious, and incredibly chilling.

Wilbur is too busy thinking. Thinking about how he missed it. Thinking about the signs that were so painfully obvious. Thinking about the way Tommy would recoil from affection. Thinking about how Tommy would flip a switch in seconds. All the ways that Wil should have _known_. That he should have been able to do something sooner. How he shouldn't have let them exile him. How he should have went with him (Would Tommy have even wanted him to?). The what ifs, the hows, the ways, everything is taking hold of his thoughts and making him think of all the things he could have done differently. How he could have prevented this. How he could have done _better_.

But that's not important right now. What's important right now is that he comforts his little brother and his little brothers best friends. Because this isn't about him.

This is about Tommy.

_**ONLINE** _

_Phil is Online_

_CAT is Online_

_Wilbur is Online_

_funds :D is Online_

_Tree Sap is Online_

_MELLOHI is Online_

_JUKEBOX is Online_

_gogchamp is Online_

_featherless biped is Online_

_youre a pawn for the wealthy is Online_

_EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST is Online_

_listens to sweater weather (derogatory) is Online_

**_OFFLINE_ **

_N/A_

**_Pog Bitches That Need Therapy (+ Dream)_ **

**funds :D  
** where are you guys???

**Tree Sap  
**??????????????????

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
** alex please just calm down  
and start talking in english i  
cant keep up with you rn

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
** Are you guys okay right now?  
Do you need anyone with you?

**featherless biped  
** ¿Cómo diablos se supone que voy  
a calmarme? Quiero decir que  
leemos el mismo mensaje, ¿verdad?  
Él abusó de ellos, ¿y me estás  
diciendo que me calme?  
A la mierda esa mierda.

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
** okay fair

**gogchamp  
** can someone explain what the fuck  
just happened?

**Tree Sap  
** i am????? freaking the fuck out????  
????????????????

**Wilbur  
** Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo, where  
are you guys?

**JUKEBOX  
** Didn't think you'd care.

**Wilbur  
** Tommy.

**JUKEBOX  
**...  
near ponks tower

**CAT  
** everyone else is also welcome to  
come

**MELLOHI  
** please dont make fun of us for  
hugging

**JUKEBOX  
** JAIFKJASLFHJSFKL  
We are not hugging, he is fabricating  
the truth I swear.

**[MELLOHI HAS SENT clingytrio.jpg]**

**MELLOHI  
** We are hugging

**JUKEBOX  
** Photoshop.

**[CAT HAS SENT notfabrication.jpg]**

**CAT  
** oh worm??

**JUKEBOX  
** straight up thats not me :/  
idk who yall are with but its  
not me ://

**MELLOHI  
** im crying why are you denying  
this so hard

**JUKEBOX  
** I have an image to uphold, Ranboo.

**MELLOHI  
** you were holding tubbos hand for  
comfort like five hours ago

**JUKEBOX  
** SHUT UPPPPPPPP  
im being stripped of my cool epic  
swag bad boy persona

**CAT  
** what is more cool epic swag than  
showing your friends affection???

**JUKEBOX  
** literally anything else

**CAT  
** sadge

**MELLOHI  
** sadge

**JUKEBOX  
** ,,,,,,  
okay maybe giving your friends  
affection is KIND OF cool epic  
swag,,,,

**CAT  
** :D

**MELLOHI  
** :D

Wil is the first to make it to Ponk's tower, and that doesn't surprise him. He'd already been in the area, it was just a matter of sprinting there as fast as he could. He sweats under the thick layers of clothing he has on, looking at the teens as the lay across on another. Ranboo is leaning against a hill, Tommy is leaning his back onto Ranboo's side, and Tubbo has his head in Tommy's lap as they all mess around on their phones. They look completely normal, if not a little closer than usual, and not like they just dropped the fact that they've been emotionally abused by someone less than ten minutes ago.

Tubbo laughs, causing the other two to look at him. He shows them something on his phone, and they both laugh as well. Tommy shakes his head, looking up and finally locking eyes with Wil. His smiles falls and he nudges Ranboo and Tubbo before gesturing to Wil with his chin. It's quite literally just a stare down as the wind whips past until Alex runs past Wil - Schlatt, Karl, Sapnap, George, and Fundy hot on his tail - while he yells in Spanish.

The men crowd around the three teens, asking questions in various different tones and at various different volumes. Ranboo slouches into himself as Tubbo tries to stop them all from speaking at once. Tommy has a solid grip on Ranboo's forearm, rubbing his back to keep him from getting overwhelmed. Tubbo literally has to punch Alex in the gut to get him to stop talking, and then he makes them form a line to ask their questions one by one.

Wil doesn't have to look to know that it's Phil and Techno that come to stand on either side of him, and he doesn't have to speak to know that they're all on the same page as they watch Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo uncomfortably answer everyone's questions, and the way that they're practically sat on top of each other for some comfort in the situation. He makes eye contact with Tommy for another split second before he turns to talk to Karl.

Images of Tommy when he was younger flash through his mind. The day that they brought Tommy back from the adoption center and he broke a vase within thirty minutes of showing up and he'd begged them not to take him back because their food tasted weird. Tommy's seventh birthday, his first birthday with them, when Techno had thrown him into the neighbors pool from their old tree house. When Tommy was nine and he'd accidentally called Techno his brother and still denies it to this day. When Tommy was six and he'd met Tubbo for the first time and by the end of the day they'd already started calling each other their best friends. When Tommy and Tubbo were sixteen and followed Wilbur into war. When Ranboo first met him and said 'i'm sure that you can move past what you did' after Wil had said his past was complicated.

How all three of them aren't even legal adults yet.

Wil turns around and begins walking back down the path, Phil and Techno following suit.

"I'm gonna kill him."

Techno laughs, " _We're_ gonna kill him, Wil."

"I call the first punch." Phil says, and Techno groans and begins to complain about how _he_ wanted the first punch.

Wil smiles. That's right. They're gonna make Dream pay for what he did. It doesn't matter how they feel about each other right now. Whether Wil feels resentment towards Phil for abandoning him and Tommy, whether Techno feels thinks that Wil has changed for the worse since they were kids, whether Phil doesn't want the responsibility of his own children anymore or not, they're going to do this like they always used to do things.

Together.

Wil flings the door to his house open with reckless abandon. He could care less about damaging the walls right now, he's got a vengeance and he's going to carry it out no matter the cost. He opens chests at random, not even bothering to close them as he sifts through. Techno and Phil stand in the doorway awkwardly as he moves around erratically. He vaguely motions for them to come in before he pushes his bed away from its place in the corner of the room, moving a wall panel and pulling out a large pouch full of potions and golden apples and passes it to Techno.

"What the fuck?" The pig hybrid asks, "Where did you get all this shit?"

"Grinded for it." is all that Wil says as he pushes the bed back into place. "Do you have any extra netherite laying around by any chance? I've nearly got a full set, I just need the helmet."

Techno and Phil glance at each other for a second, before Phil sighs, "Follow me."

_**ONLINE** _

_CAT is Online_

_funds :D is Online_

_Tree Sap is Online_

_MELLOHI is Online_

_JUKEBOX is Online_

_gogchamp is Online_

_featherless biped is Online_

_youre a pawn for the wealthy is Online_

_listens to sweater weather (derogatory) is Online_

**_OFFLINE_ **

_Phil is Offline_

_Wilbur is Offline_

_EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST is Offline_

**_Pog Bitches That Need Therapy (+ Dream)_**

**gogchamp  
** desperately wishing dr*am was in  
here so that i could yell at him  
but i dont want to make yall uncomfy

**JUKEBOX  
** i mean,,,,,,,,  
im down to watch dream get dragged  
by his eyelids if you guys are

**CAT  
** PLEASE im desperate to see it

**MELLOHI  
** god its all ive ever wanted

**featherless biped  
** say less

**_featherless biped as added Dream to  
Pog Bitches That Need Therapy (+ Dream)_ **

_several people are typing. . ._


	7. Dream has joined the call

_**ONLINE** _

_CAT is Online_

_Dream is Online_

_funds :D is Online_

_Tree Sap is Online_

_MELLOHI is Online_

_JUKEBOX is Online_

_gogchamp is Online_

_featherless biped is Online_

_youre a pawn for the wealthy is Online_

_listens to sweater weather (derogatory) is Online_

**_OFFLINE_ **

_Phil is Offline_

_Wilbur is Offline_

_EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST is Offline_

**_Pog Bitches That Need Therapy (+ Dream)_ **

**funds :D  
** You know, I could let cheating on  
me slide, I really could. Because  
at the very least, George and I  
get a bond out of it, and that  
doesn't really have any lasting  
issues on me.  
But this? Fucking THIS?  
Emotionally abusing three fucking  
teenagers? I refuse to let you get  
away with that.  
Actually, hold on.

_funds :D is starting a group call_

_JUKEBOX , MELLOHI , CAT , gogchamp , Tree Sap ,  
featherless biped , and listens to sweater weather  
(derogatory) , have joined the call_

**funds :D  
** Dream, join the fucking call.

_Dream has joined the call_

_"What the fuck were you thinking?"_ Fundy says. Everyone else in the call mutes, letting him take the lead on this one. _"Seriously, what the actual_ fuck _were you thinking? What fucking excuse do you have for this, Dream? Were you threatened by three teenagers? Did it make you feel good to see them helpless? Was it some sort of sick fucking power play? What can you_ possibly _say to_ anyone _that would be a good enough reason to do what you did?"_

Fundy pauses to give Dream time to respond, but when nearly a minute passes and Dream doesn't speak, he continues, _"Are you gonna fucking answer me, dickhead?"_

 _"I'm not sorry for what I did. Well, maybe a little, but I needed to do it."_ Is all Dream says, and Tommy can hear the sharp intake of breath that Fundy takes.

 _"Holy fucking shit."_ He mutters. Ranboo puts an arm around Tommy's shoulders, more for his own comfort than for Tommy's. Tubbo leans his head onto Tommy's shoulder from where he sits with his own back against Tommy's. _"You're genuinely just a sociopath, aren't you? Have you ever thought about therapy? I've heard that therapy is really great."_

Tubbo laughs at that, which in turn makes Ranboo chuckle, and makes Tommy cackle. It's not that the jokes inherently funny, given the context it probably wasn't even meant as a joke, but they've earned the right to find things like that funny, Tommy thinks.

 _"I don't give a fuck_ what _is wrong with you or what we were in the past, if you so much as fucking_ look _at one of them the wrong way_ ever _again, I will fucking_ slaughter _you. I don't care if they started it, I don't care if they're holding you at gunpoint, I don't care if they're wearing something weird, you will be dead in the water by sundown of I hear them say they don't feel safe around you for even a goddamn second. Do you got that? Yes? Good. Someone else go before I fucking rip his throat out."_

George takes the in, _"I hope you fucking choke, you absolute fucking prick. I don't care how I felt about Tommy or Tubbo in the past, I'm not letting you get off scot-free. You're getting what you deserve for this, and I don't care how long it takes for us to make that happen. I'm so fucking pissed at you right now, Dream. I... I loved you, and sometimes it feels like I still do, but whatever feelings I may have still felt towards you are completely gone now. Fuck you."_

The next person that speaks up is obvious the second the words leave his mouth, _"¿Qué demonios te pasa? Abusar de los adolescentes, abusar de cualquiera, en realidad, es muy bajo, incluso para ti. ¿Te despertaste un día y decidiste abusar de estos niños? ¿Estas loco? ¿De verdad estás jodidamente loco? Y a la gente con la que soy amigo? ¿Tienes un maldito deseo de muerte? Porque te voy a matar. Duerme con un ojo abierto, maldito cabrón. Que alguien más vaya, He terminado."_

 _"I don't even know if Alex is done yet, but I'm going anyone and I'm gonna make this short,"_ Sapnap takes in a breath, _"If I see you in the general vacinity of any of them after today, I will kill you where you stand with no hesitation. It will be quick, and it will be painful, and I will leave your body there to rot. Karl, go ahead."_

 _"I'm going to break your fucking neck."_ Karl, never one to hold back, comes out the gate swinging, _"I'm literally going to break your fucking neck. Actually, no, I'm not going to break your neck, first I'm going to kick your ass and force you to watch as I burn all your shit to the ground and blow up all of your materials, then I'm going to blast Kidz Bop into your ears for ten hours straight, and_ then _I'm going to break your neck. You fucked with my friends, you're getting what you deserve for it. Schlatt, the floor is yours."_

Schlatt doesn't start talking for a while. Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo sit in anticipation as the call sits in silence. A bee flies around Tubbo's head, and he swats it away to put all of his attention onto the call. He's the most anxious out of the three of them, Schlatt was easily just as bad as Dream was to him during some points in his presidency and he's not shown that he shows any real remorse for it since the most recent war. 

_"Right,"_ Schlatt begins and he's noticeably more calm than everyone before him was, but there's an edge to his voice that they've never quite heard before. He's been taunting, but never... this, _"I'm not the best with... feelings and all that bullshit, and I can assure you that I don't get to talk when it comes to treating Tubbo well, treating anyone well, really, but this? What you did? That's too far. Even for_ me _. And if it's too far for_ me _, you know you fucked up._

 _"Tubbo is one of the best kids I've ever met in my entire life. He's scary as fuck, I can admit that, but he's a good kid and he just wants what's best for his friends and the people around him. He is so much better than I could ever hope to be, and I can't be sorry enough for the way I treated him_ and _Tommy._

_"Tommy is... an asshole and he can be kind of loud and obnoxious but he's also brave and incredibly caring and all of that is what makes Tommy, Tommy. He wouldn't be the same otherwise, and if he were any different... I don't know. I just know that I wouldn't change him for anything._

_"Ranboo... I don't know him well but he's got the spirit and he's a little too nice for his own good when he isn't insulting his friends, and he forgets things a lot but we're here to help him remember. He's doing his best to choose people, because he cares about everyone, and I admire that._

_"Buy you took advantage of them. All of them. Their caring nature, and the fact that they never do anything until it hurts their friends. I need to change, because I've hurt everyone here and I'm sorry for it, but you aren't sorry and that makes you worse than everyone here combined. Tubbo's like my son, and I will gladly go to bat for him, but Tommy and Ranboo aren't under my protection. No, Tommy and Ranboo are Phil, Wil, and Techno territory. I hope you know what you got yourself into, because I don't think you're coming back out of it the same."_

_Dream has left the call_

_This call has ended_

_**ONLINE** _

_CAT is Online_

_funds :D is Online_

_Tree Sap is Online_

_MELLOHI is Online_

_JUKEBOX is Online_

_gogchamp is Online_

_featherless biped is Online_

_youre a pawn for the wealthy is Online_

_listens to sweater weather (derogatory) is Online_

**_OFFLINE_ **

_Phil is Offline_

_Wilbur is Offline_

_Dream is Offline_

_EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST is Offline_

**_Pog Bitches That Need Therapy (+ Dream)_**

**gogchamp  
** fucking pussy  
god im so fuckign mad

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
** im surprised that wil, phil  
and techno werent in that  
call

**Tree Sap  
** theyre probably preparing to  
kick dr*ams ass

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
** oh they definitely are  
they arent gonna give him a  
warning, its just gonna happen

**funds :D  
** im gonna record it

**JUKEBOX  
** OKAY BUT ALEX YELLING  
AT HIM IN SPANISH WAS  
SO FUCKING FUNNY LMFAO  
OOOOOOOOO

**CAT  
** RIHGT????  
I WAS TRYING NOT TO  
LAUGH UJKAHDNHJDSS

**MELLOHI  
** IT WAS SO FAST TOO  
EVEN IF I KNEW SPANISH  
I DONT KNOW IF I WOULDVE  
BEEN ABLE TO KEEP UP LMAO

**featherless biped  
** I am righteously angry.

**JUKEBOX  
** big q supremacy

**MELLOHI  
** deadass

**CAT  
** i am a truer and i am in chat

**featherless biped  
** bye i love you guys sm crying

**funds :D  
** george come over i need to scream  
from my roof with you

**gogchamp  
** bet i was just abt to ask

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
** sap and alex come over challenge

**Tree Sap  
** say less

**featherless biped  
** drop the loco

**JUKEBOX  
** gay people</3

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
** i agree

**CAT  
** tommyinnit homophobic moments  
compilation

**MELLOHI  
** LMFAOOOOO

**JUKEBOX  
** NO PLZ IM NOT HOMOPHOBIC I  
SWEARKRJA<LRJMKS<LR  
I JUST HATE SEEiNG THEM BE  
COUPLEY IN THE GC

**Tree Sap  
** we're all single ???

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
** ^

**featherless biped  
** ^^

**funds :D  
** ^^^

**gogchamp  
** ^^^^

**CAT  
** LOOOOOOOL

**gogchamp  
**?

**CAT  
** wait deadass,,,,,

**JUKEBOX  
**.

**MELLOHI  
**.

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**.

**CAT**  
i  
brb gonna die of emabaresment

Wil stands atop the cliff, looking down at the makeshift shack below him with an axe in hand. He's covered head-to-toe in netherite armor, the best enchantments that he could afford on it. Techno is on his right, the Axe of Peace strapped to his belt next to an assortment of potions, his rocket launcher in his left hand. Phil is on his left, hovering slightly above the ground with his bow at the ready.

Dream stands in front of the shack, white mask chipped and cracking as he stares upward at them.

Wil's phone buzzes in his pocket, and they jump down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just spoke to tommyinnit, he said; "give me a goddamn minute" i said "bitch, two posts, one month" george pass me the blunt. i'd pay for the dick, not a fucking manhunt


	8. Obituary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _:)_

"You really fucked up this time, Dream." Techno says, unclipping the Axe of Peace from his belt and spinning it around in his hand. He takes a few steps forward, getting into Dreams face and towering over him so much he has to look straight down to look him in the eyes. The height difference really is staggering, and Wil is increasingly glad they're on the same side of this fight.

_It's Tommy's first Halloween that they don't need Phil to come with that Wilbur loses him. One minutes they had been walking side by side down the street void of porch lights ("If there's no porch light they don't have candy. That's the rule, Tommy.") and the next Wil looked to his left and Tommy was gone. Wil turns around to find the street completely empty sans himself. There was no way that someone could have come up behind him and grabbed him, Wilbur would have heard it and Tommy wouldn't have gone quietly. He just... disappeared._

_He runs down the street, checking between every house frantically. Techno didn't come with them this year, something about being in a war with some kid over potatoes, so he can't even split up to find his younger brother. Wil's breath starts to pick up, running a hand through his hair as he turns his head this way and that. He grips the sides of his head as he stares at the ground and tears form in his eye._

_'Tommy_ has _to be around here somewhere.' he thinks, mind racing, 'He couldn't have gone far. He just couldn't have. He's only fucking six, his legs aren't that long. Where is he where is he where is he whERE IS HE WHERE IS HE YOU LOS **T HIM YOU FUCKING LOST HIM PHIL IS GOING TO BE SO MAD WHERE THE FUCK IS HE FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK-** '_

_"There he is!" Tommy yells, and Wil's thoughts come to an abrupt halt at the voice. He looks up to see Tommy holding another kids hand, it's a brunette in a bee costume that can't be much older than Tommy himself is. They're accompanied by someone that Wil assumes is the brunettes supervision. "Wilby!" Tommy yells, letting go of the other boys hand and running up to Wil._

_Wil opens his arms and picks Tommy up when he's in his grasp. Wilbur takes in a shuddering breath, closing his eyes and holding the back of Tommy's head into his shoulder as he tries to calm himself down. Tommy is safe. That's all that's important. He bounces Tommy in his arms, taking in one last breath as he opens his eyes. He pulls back from the hug and looks Tommy in the eyes, seeing that he is in much the same state that Wil is with puffy red eyes._

_"Don't even run off like that again, okay? You gave me a heart attack." Tommy looks down, messing with the cow costume he's wearing._

_"I'm sorry. I got distracted and followed a cat."_

_Wil's eyes shoot up in shock and he stares at Tommy for a few seconds before he laughs, because of course that's what happened. "Was it a cute cat?"_

_Tommy's eyes light up, "It was! I named him Clock, and I was going to show him to you, but the I realized you weren't there so I got scared, but then Tubbo and Niki found me and they helped me find you! Do you think we could-" He goes off on a tangent about what to do when they get home because his feet a tired, and Wilbur mouths a 'Thank you' in Niki's direction._

_They go home soon after vowing to never tell Phil what happened, and Tubbo is a staple in their house from then on._

"I didn't do anything that didn't need to be done, Technoblade." Dream says, not affected by his precarious situation at all. Wilbur's grip on his own axe tightens and he can feel his blood rushing into his ears. He knows that he could never truly understand what Techno means when he tells him about the voices that crave blood in his ears every waking moment of his life, and he is incredibly glad that he doesn't, but in the moment he feels like he gets pretty close to experiencing it for himself. He wants to see Dream bleed, and he wants it to be at his own hands.

_"_ _Techno!" Tommy yells from down the ladder, he's eight years old, Wilbur is eighteen, Techno is thirteen, and Tubbo turned nine about a month ago. When thy look down he's holding up one of Phil's old shirts that they'd found in the attic, they'd been cleaning it out to make a 'base of operations' for their 'secret spy group', and there's a band-aid over his nose from where he'd hit it on one of the support beams and then face planted onto the kitchen floor earlier after trying to steal some of Tubbo's chips._

_Techno sighs, running a hand down his face while Wil laughs and grabs one of the last few boxes, "Yeah, little Watson?"_

_Tommy frantically shakes the shirt he's holding with a grin on his face. Techno shrugs while shaking his head to convey that he doesn't get it. Tommy puffs out his cheeks before taking off the shirt he was wearing, an N*SYNC T-Shirt that Wilbur had bought as a joke when he was thirteen, and slips the one he'd been showing them on. It's dusty, and it desperately needs to be washed if the literal cob-webs now stuck to Tommy's hair are a sign, but... it fits him. The bandaged face, the scrapped knees that are scabbing from the other day, the cob-webs in his ruffled hair that looks like it hasn't been brushed in days, with that red-and-white baseball tee to tie it all together._

_It looks unmistakably... Tommy._

_They replace most of his wardrobe with shirts of a similar fashion within a month._

Dream is taunting them. Wil knows that Dream is taunting them. He can see it in the way the masked man tilts his head to the side, the smirk that is undoubtedly there despite the view of it being blocked. Dream's holding himself with arrogance, way too relaxed for having three incredibly angry adults ready to tear him to shreds, two of which have nicknames meant for striking fear into their opponents. And Wilbur. The Blood God, The Angel of Death, and Wilbur Soot, resident crazy man of L'Manberg, stood in front of The Trickster Dream. Funny how life puts you in these situations sometimes. Not really, but Wil needs a laugh right now.

_"Can you pas me the uhm..." Tommy snaps his fingers, trying to remember the word as he vaguely gestures in a random direction, "the uh... the thing with the like... the circley thingy! It's a circle!"_

_Wilbur, twenty-one, is sat on the kitchen counter as Tommy makes himself some sort of snack that looks more like an abomination. There isn't even a general shape to it, it's just a pile of different ingredients that don't even look like they go together. Wilbur turns his head to the left, grabbing a plate and handing it to Tommy who smiles. He picks up the monstrosity from the cutting board with his bare hands and sets it onto the plate with a grin._

_"I call it..." he pauses for dramatic effect, "The Tominator Supreme."_

_Wilbur bursts out laughing, nearly falling off the counter as Tommy's face reddens, "What!? It's a good name!" he defends. Wilbur just nods, waving one of his hands dismissively as he clutches his stomach. Techno comes in through the back door with Tubbo, both covered in mud, and he nearly falls over at the sight of 'The Tominator Supreme' while Tubbo just gapes._

_Tommy is tense, fists clenched at his sides, "Shut up! It looks good!" he says, grabbing the sandwich(?) and taking a bite of it. Wilbur stops laughing, and the three of them watch with baited breath as Tommy chews loudly. His face shifts into disgust, but he swallows the mouthful with a full body shiver and a gag once it's down. He puts a hand over his mouth and closes his eyes afterward as Wilbur, Tubbo, and Techno stare at him in disbelief._

_He takes in a deep breath, setting the sandwich(?) back down with one final dry swallow and says; "It wasn't that bad."_

_He throws up on the living room carpet two minutes later._

Phil takes the first punch in the middle of Dream saying how it was, really, Tommy's fault for _making_ him do all those thing to him during exile, and it was Tubbo's fault for believing everything Dream had told him, and it was Ranboo's fault for not being able to remember, and it's so unexpected from all parties that they're just kind of standing there for a second before finally charging at one another.

Techno raises his axe above his head as Wil tries to kick Dream's legs out from under him, but he jumps over the kick and dips out of the way of the axe just before it makes contact with his chest plate. Phil is up above them, taking shots at Dream that land at a ratio of five-to-one, five being the amount he misses but at least he makes the ones that hit count.

Wil takes a step back, surveying their surroundings. There's really nothing here. It's an open field with nothing but the cliff they were just on and the shack Dream lives(?) in. There's no where for them to make a rendezvous if they get any major injuries, which means that neither can Dream but it would be a lot better if they _did_ have one. They could try to make their way back up the cliff, but that would leave too large of an opening for Dream to shoot at them and they can't afford that right now.

He hears Techno yell out behind him and Wil turns just in time to see Dream about to come down at him with his sword. He holds his own axe up in defense, trying to get his footing so he doesn't end up on his back with Dream over him. Phil dive bombs into Dream, the two of them rolling around on the snow from the force of the impact, and Wilbur takes the distraction to get his bearings back. He can't get distracted right now.

_"Are you sure you're okay?" Techno asked, raising a brow. Tommy had been trying to skate down the street on Wilbur's skateboard, which he hadn't used in years, and got distracted by something shiny in the bushes of someone's garden and ran straight into someones car. Techno had laughed, because it was funny as fuck, but when he realized that Tommy was still laying on the back of the car after nearly two minutes he walked over with concern._

_Tommy is holding his ankle, face twisted in pain, and Techno immediately finds the situation one-hundred percent less funny. He practically throws his bike to the ground and grabs Tommy's ankle lightly, brows furrowed as he pulls down Tommy's sock, and inspects the wound. It doesn't look broken, but the swelling is a tell-tale sign that it's definitely sprained. How he managed to sprain it when he landed chest first, Techno doesn't know, but Tommy has always been full of surprises._

_"Shit, Tommy." Techno mutters, maneuvering him to where he's giving Tommy a piggy back ride. "I'd tell you to stop getting distracted, but that'd be kind of hypocritical from me." Tommy sniffs, discretely wiping tears from his face._

_Techno was right, of course, and Tommy ended up having to sit in bed for about three days before being able to walk again, but he doesn't mention that Tommy had been crying about his ankle. He doesn't mention it in private, either. In fact, they never bother to mention it to one another ever again._

Wilbur isn't sure how the fight got to this point. One moment Phil had Dream in a headlock, the next he was desperately trying to stop his left leg from bleeding while Techno tried (and failed) to get Dream on his back. So Wil stands there, watching as Dream and Techno's blades make a sickening sound as they clash against each other, Techno furious while Dream looks entirely unbothered.

It irks Wil to no end.

He isn't sure how the fight got to this point, and he isn't sure what happened to get _him_ to this point, but the next thing he knows he's got a foot pressed against Dream's back, a dark red circle growing ever so slowly from the wound in Dream's stomach, with a sword to the masked mans neck. He doesn't know when he got a sword (had he not started this fight with an axe?) or when he stabbed Dream through the gut, or when Dream lost his mask, but he isn't complaining.

Dream looks scared. Not the it shows in his facial expression, he's never been one to let the enemy see what he's feeling that easily, but Wil can see it in his eyes. In the way that they're just a tad bit wider than could be considered calm. In the way he's looking from Wil, to his axe too far to get a hold of, back to Wil and repeat. In the way that he's trying to plan a way out of this, but can't find one.

Wil likes that he's scared, because he one hundred percent should be.

_"Tommy, don't be weird." Is all that Tubbo says after Tommy says that he could probably beat a toddler in a fight. Techno, ever the instigator, shushes Tubbo and eggs Tommy to continue. Tubbo sighs, running a hand down his face, but rests his chin in his hand anyways and listens. He's halfway through explaining why he would have a strength advantage (as though the face that he's fourteen isn't an obvious enough reason) when Tubbo interrupts._

_"But what's the point?"_

_Tommy stops his wild gesturing and raises an eyebrow, "What?"_

_"I mean, what's the point in fighting a toddler? Yeah, they can be a pain, but when your opponent is someone that can't defend themself it's kind of fucked to take the win so seriously. It'd be kind of weird for Techno to celebrate winning a fight against you when he could do it so easily. Feels fucked up to want to fight someone who can't find back."_

_Tommy stops talking about how much he wants to fight toddlers after that._

Dream stops scanning his surroundings, finally settling on Wil, and smiles. It's a smile Wil's seen too many times before and he hates it every time. Dream's doing that smile he always does right before he starts talking, and Wil has half a mind to knock him out right now.

"Do you think this makes you a hero?" Wil doesn't even bother thinking of giving that a response. "Do you think that killing me makes you a hero? That when I die Tommy is going to magically trust you again? That Tubbo's going to get over Schaltt's treatment of him? That Phil is going to suddenly care about you? Do you honestly believe that will happen? Be honest with yourself here, Wilbur. It doesn't matter what you do, it doesn't matter if I'm dead or alive, it doesn't matter if Phil is with you or if Tommy trusts you, none of it is ever going to stop. You're never going to be able to trust each other, you know that. The fighting's never going to end. I know you know that. Whether I'm still breathing or not, I still wi-"

Wilbur runs the blade across his neck, a clean slice, and watches his head roll away. He takes a deep breath, looking at the blade in his hands and noticing the inscription on the handle. ' _Nightmare_ ' it says, and Wilbur thinks it's fitting.

There's silence for a while, just the sound of the birds chirping and the wind whipping around, the occasional cough or two from one of the three men. Dream's blood stains the floor, turning his hoodie an odd brown in some spaces from where he'd been stabbed, and they watch as some animals begin to swarm and begin to eat. It's morbid, and Wil isn't quite sure he wants to keep watching, but he doesn't feel the slightest bit of remorse. Can't, even. Not for him. Not after what he did to his family.

"He's wrong, you know." Techno says as they watch two birds fight over what Wil thinks is one of his eyes, "He isn't going to win because we're turning this shit around."

Phil laughs, shaking his head, "Maybe we should inform the general public that we're going to try and bring peace to the land after murdering a certain hoodie wearing bastard before just deciding to?"

Wil shrugs, "I don't think anyone would disagree."

"You'd be surprised."

_**ONLINE** _

_CAT is Online_

_funds :D is Online_

_Tree Sap is Online_

_MELLOHI is Online_

_JUKEBOX is Online_

_gogchamp is Online_

_featherless biped is Online_

_youre a pawn for the wealthy is Online_

_listens to sweater weather (derogatory) is Online_

**_OFFLINE_ **

_Phil is Offline_

_Wilbur is Offline_

_Dream is Offline_

_EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST is Offline_

**_Pog Bitches That Need Therapy (+ Dream)_ **

**JUKEBOX  
**im just saying maybe communism isnt  
such a bad idea

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**i have literally never disagreed with  
someone more in my whole life

**CAT  
**you were literally a dictator like two  
months ago

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**points were made

_Wilbur is Online_

_Phil is Online_

_EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST is Online_

**MELLOHI  
**SWAG YOU GUYS ARE BACK  
WHAT WERE YOU DOING

**CAT  
**FOR REAL IT WAS SO OMINUS  
TO SEE YOU JUST WATCHING US  
FROM A DISTANCE

**JUKEBOX  
**they were probably just eating or  
something

_**Wilbur has changed his name to  
Dream Crusher** _

**JUKEBOX  
**???

**CAT  
**^^^

**MELLOHI  
**in the nicest way possible: what<3

**Tree Sap  
**i never understand anything wil says  
crying

**featherless biped  
**speak english, whore

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**that's five for the whore counter today  
but also wil plz just say it im dying

**gogchamp  
**literally just say it normally i hate it  
here

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**wil is so dramatic i hate him so much

**funds :D  
**wait,,,,,  
did you guys beat dr*ams ass omg  
say yes or ill cry

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**More like Wil literally cut his head off.  
Like damn bro, couldn't even let me  
get a hit in first?

**Dream Crusher  
**Sorry, i'll make sure to hold back on my  
little brothers abuser next time.

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**Valid.

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**im,,,,,,  
how do i process this???

**featherless biped  
**DREAM IS GONE CRAB RAVE

**Tree Sap  
**two types of people

**gogchamp  
**WAIT BUT LIKE????  
WHAT HAPPENEND>????

**funds :D  
**^^^^  
I NEED THE DETAILS????

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**i guess wil is okay SOME times

**Dream Crusher  
**Please just get laid or something i  
promise it will make you less angry  
all the time

**Phil  
**My favorite part of the whole fight?  
Wil literally just cut his ass off mid sentence  
to kill him LMAO

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**LOOOOOOOOOOOL  
I HAD TO TRY NOT TO LAUGH

**Dream Crusher  
**I literally cut someones head off.

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**Damn, I kinda.... don't care.

**Dream Crusher  
**Okay but me neither </3

**JUKEBOX  
**You what.

**Dream Crusher  
**Decapitated Dream.

**CAT  
**Like, actually?  
No jokes?

**MELLOHI  
**Are you sure he's dead though?

**Phil  
**Ranboo, his head and his body are a  
good ten feet apart.  
We're sure.

**MELLOHI  
**hply fuck

**CAT  
**treehouse in fifteen

**MELLOHI  
**got it

**JUKEBOX  
**already there

_MELLOHI is Offline_

_CAT is Offline_

**JUKEBOX  
**Before I got offline...  
Thank you, Wil.  
Still don't like you, though.  
Don't think this means I like you.  
You're still weird and fucked up.  
Thank you doesn't equal I like you.

**Dream Crusher  
**I wouldn't have it any other way.  
Also fuck you, I'm not weird.

**JUKEBOX  
**me when you dont deny the fucked  
up part

**Dream Crusher  
**I quite literally Can Not.

**JUKEBOX  
**okay true  
bye hate you<3

**Dream Crusher  
**choke<3

**JUKEBOX  
**eat rocks bitch

_JUKEBOX is Offline_

**Phil  
**I am Not crying.

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**He's crying.

**Phil  
**Shut the fuck up so are you.

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**Lies and Slander.  
My lawyer will be in contact.

**[PHIL HAS SENT technocry.jpg]**

**Phil  
**this us?

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**Eradicate anyone over thirty-five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He gets what he deserves.
> 
> SBI family dynamic brain rot
> 
> this isn't the end, i just wanted that bitch dead<3
> 
> also! i posted a new sbi fic on my account, it's the newest in this series of fics, so check it out if you want !! :)


	9. dream with no life, what will the smp do?

Tubbo and Ranboo show up to the tree house in complete shock, Tubbo going over to his hammock and grabbing his bee plush. The entire tree house is bee-themed, mostly because it had originally been meant as a place just for Tubbo to calm down before they realized that it worked for all of them, but there's also a stuffed cow for Tommy and a stuffed cat for Ranboo.

They don't speak, just sort of stare at the walls in front of them to try and process what just happened. Dream is... dead. But then again, maybe he isn't. He's been known to get his way out of this sort of thing, hasn't he? But Phil said that his head was a good ten feet from his body. Phil isn't exactly reliable. Wilbur wouldn't lie about that sort of thing. Wilbur is still trying to deal with the voices in his head that tell him everyone is a traitor. Techno was there, he wouldn't lie about that. Techno nearly killed Tubbo at the festival.

There's too many variables. Too many things that have been done by each person in the equation to take the statement at face value. Techno's a traitor, Wilbur is paranoid (he's working on it, Tommy has to give him credit for that), and Phil... Phil's never been there. Tommy doesn't know why he'd bother to be there now.

Maybe this was all some elaborate lie to get their guard down. Maybe Wilbur, Techno, and Phil were working with Dream to get them all back under his control. Maybe by all coming to the same place they were just making it easier for Dream to come and collect them. Maybe they need to spread out. They have to get as far away from one another as possible. They don't have a lot of time, they have to leave right now right now ri _ght now right now rIGHT NOW_.

"Wil just sent a picture of him holding Dream's head on a stick in the group chat." Tubbo says, staring at his phone scream blankly, "I didn't know Dream had green eyes."

Ranboo opens his own phone, humming as he looks at the photo Tubbo was talking about, "He looks punchable. Glad that carries over even without the mask."

Tommy takes out his own phone, putting in his password and sure enough, there's Wil staring at the camera with a slight smile with Dream's head on a stick. Techno and Phil are talking in the background, both covered in blood, and it looks like Phil's leg is injured from where he's hovering.

That's a real, authentic, head. It's void of all life, eyes blank and cold. Hair falling carelessly in it's face, dried blood coming from its nose, skin almost grey looking. You can't fake that. No one could. Not even The Blood God. Not even the Angel of Death. No one.

Dream, the trickster, the man with strings everywhere, control over everything, is dead.

Tommy cries.

Not for Dream, he couldn't care less about that piece of shit, but for his friends. For Tubbo, who won't have to worry about every little thing he hears regarding his presidency being a lie that Dream concocted and convinced everyone else that it was the truth. For Ranboo, who can at least try and get that noise from his head and can finally sleep at night knowing he isn't helping the man using him for sport.

He cries for Fundy and George, both heartbroken and still healing.

For Quackity, who's boyfriend(?) cries at night wondering what he could have done differently.

For Sapnap, filled with guilt and what-ifs.

For Karl, who was pushed to the side any time he tried to help the man before he was too far gone.

For Schlatt, who fell victim to promises of power.

For Wilbur, who went insane trying to get back his country.

For Techno, who lost in a battle of stability even though he won in everything else.

For Phil, who lost his sons, not physically, but emotionally, to a man desperate for control.

He cries for everyone but himself.

Tubbo and Ranboo do so for him as they take him into their embrace. This is it. For the first time in what feels like forever, they're free. No shackles holding them down, no smile to haunt their dreams, only to be there when they wake. No. He won't be there when they wake. Never again. The dream is done.

The nightmare is over.

Wilbur lays in the grass and watches the clouds pass overhead. He isn't sure why, but the sky looks... bluer. Clearer. A bird chirps to his left, and he looks over in confusion. He's not sure when the last time he heard that was. It's odd. That he can't remember the last time he heard a bird, saw one fly overheard. When was the last time he watched a sunset? A sunrise, even? It's been so long. _Too_ long. He needs to start appreciating it more.

Techno watches Wilbur, Dreams head on a stick stuck into the ground by their feet. Techno follows his line of sight to a family of six birds, three injured in vastly different and yet somehow incredibly similar ways as the other three mercilessly peck at the fox who did it. It's a losing battle for the birds, the fox too agile and crafty for them, and in the end the three baby birds end up dead anyways. Techno knows there's some symbolism in there, it's painfully obvious, but it didn't end that way for them. He's never going to let it end that way for them.

Phil watches Techno, analyzing. He wants to know what's going through his head. He's always been hard to read, even when the boys were younger. He remembers Tommy always had to translate for him, because Tommy was always incredibly perceptive with others emotions. One of his many talents that's shocked Phil. It was always funny to see Techno try and be vague about his emotions only for Tommy, barely seven years old, to yell it to the skies. He misses it. He wonders what went wrong along the way.

Sapnap feels like he can't breathe. Dream is dead. Dream is really, _truly_ , dead. Gone. Donezo. Across the finish line. In the great beyond. However you want to say it. He's dead. His best friend is dead. But are they even best friends anymore? It doesn't feel like it. They haven't been for months. Not since Dream admitted that he didn't care about anything but Tommy's discs. Because they _are_ Tommy's discs, and Dream took them and declared them his own. He took the discs, and he put more effort into keeping them in his possession than his actual relationships. He cared more about keeping Tommy under his control than he did Sapnap, or George, or Fundy, or anyone else.

Dream didn't care about him. Dream was his best friend. Dream is dead.

It's too much to process. He curls into Karl's chest, Quackity's hand carding through his hair while Karl whispers reassurances into his ear. It's not working, his head is reeling and he feels like his lungs are going to collapse. Dream was an asshole, but he had been his best friend since they were kids. So many years together, all torn apart by some stupid fucking discs belonging to a bratty teenager. But he can't blame Tommy. Dream could have easily ignored him, he was the adult in the situation after all.

Quackity starts singing him a song, some Spanish lullaby he doesn't know a single word to, but his helps ground him. He stays there, in Karl's arms while Quackity sings, and he wonders how he could have prevented all of this.

"Fuck!" George yells from atop Fundy's house. He's been doing so for the past fifteen minutes, and his throat feels raw. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" he lets the last one draw out, taking in a deep breath afterwards. Dream's really gone. He's really, truly gone. He'd told Dream whatever feelings he'd had for him were gone once he found out what he'd done, and they are, but he thinks about the times they had before. The person Dream was before. He thinks about before and he wishes he were there.

"You're gonna lose your voice if you keep that up." George jumps a bit at the voice, turning to see Fundy resting his head in his hands while he's stood on the ladder that leads up to the roof. He turns back around, overlooking the landscape.

"I wouldn't mind that." he mumbles, Fundy's footsteps growing closer as he sits down and kicks his legs. He really wouldn't mind that. No voice, no reason to talk about his emotions. He misses when he would sleep through everything important, misses it dearly. Wishes he were asleep right now. Knows he won't be able to sleep for weeks after. He wants to sleep so bad.

Fundy takes a seat next to him, grabbing his hand for comfort, and sighs. "I bet I can out scream you."

George raises a brow, turning to the hybrid, "What?"

Fundy just snorts, "Do you think you're the only one with pent up emotions right now?"

George doesn't answer. He knows he's not. He can only imagine what Sapnap's going through right now, they'd known each other longer than he and Dream had known each other. He wonders when they all grew apart. He's barely seen Sapnap recently, last time he saw him was... dear God, probably just before the election during the preliminaries. The last time he spoke to him was probably even longer than that. What does he even know about Sapnap?

Were they ever really friends, or did they hang out together just because of Dream?

"What do you say then?" Fundy's voice brings him back down to reality, "Want to have a screaming match?"

George smiles, "You're on."

Schlatt sits alone inside a large, empty home. He's... indifferent. He's glad that Dream's dead, fucker was annoying (and he emotionally manipulated Tubbo, Tommy, and Ranboo), but he doesn't really feel much. How can he? He's got no connection to the dead, only just started caring about the boy he hurt, doesn't really know much of the others he used to care about.

Dream is dead, and Schlatt doesn't care. He won't care right now, or in an hour, or a day, or a week, or a month, or a year. He won't care at the end of his life. Dream could have gone for a sail and never come back, and Schlatt wouldn't care because why should he? 

He needs a drink, but he won't. Knows he shouldn't. Knows it's bad for him.

He grabs a water instead, and even though he doesn't care, he cries.

Somewhere in the world, a life altering event just happened. Whether it was a hero being born, a villain being slain, or even just someone meeting someone else, it happened. Those events happen daily, even if they aren't world changing, even if they aren't soul crushing, they happen and they effect the people around them. Two years ago, a boy no older than fourteen and his best friend fought a man to the point of war for their independence. One and a half year ago, that same boy was exiled by his best friend who had become the president after the boys older brother blew up the country. Half a year ago, the boy was reunited with his best friend in battle.

One hour ago, a man lost his head at the hands of the Antarctic Empire.

Life moves forward anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An aftermath.
> 
> had dreams old speedrunner v. hunter videos on in the background while writing this, forgot how much george screams like a kindergartner
> 
> the ending of this chapter feels weird to me, but whatever


	10. It was a Monday at 3:46 P.M when Tommy suggested that we switch from 'everyone for themselves' to socialism.

_**ONLINE** _

_Phil is Online_

_CAT is Online_

_funds :D is Online_

_Tree Sap is Online_

_MELLOHI is Online_

_JUKEBOX is Online_

_gogchamp is Online_

_Dream Crusher is Online_

_featherless biped is Online_

_youre a pawn for the wealthy is Online_

_EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST is Online_

_listens to sweater weather (derogatory) is Online_

**_OFFLINE_ **

_Dream is Offline_

**_Pog Bitches That Need Therapy (+ Dream)_ **

**JUKEBOX  
** help girl i am breaking down

**Tree Sap  
** omg twinning

**JUKEBOX  
** swag

**MELLOHI  
** stop i hate when u guys say  
swag so much

**JUKEBOX  
** sucsk for u

**MELLOHI  
** crying

**CAT  
** how to,,,,,  
how to cope???

**gogchamp  
** scream

**funds :D  
** vouch

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
** wait  
IS THAT YALL FUCKING SCREAMING  
??????

**funds :D  
** perhaps

**gogchamp  
** perhaps

**featherless biped  
** im howling why does it sound like a  
dying bird

**funds :D  
** kinda fucked up :/

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
** he's not wrong  
why do yall sound Like That  
literally shut the fuck up

**gogchamp  
** we're coping fucker  
leave us alone

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
** okay fair

**gogchamp  
** me when that worked???

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
** can you just like... try being  
quieter? please?  
trying to not like, drink to  
process whats happening.

**funds :D  
**.  
yeah. sure.  
sorry.

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
** its chill

**CAT  
** i am halluncinating

**JUKEBOX  
** our girlboss, who art in heaven,  
please tell us what to do we're  
lost lmfao

**Dream Crusher  
** PARDON FUCKING ME????

**JUKEBOX  
** you read what i said, bitch

**Dream Crusher  
** our,,,,,, our girlboss,,,,

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
** girlboss AOC lead us in the  
right direction

**Tree Sap  
** NOT AOC LMFAOOOO

**featherless biped  
** bernie plz help us

**JUKEBOX  
** literally who are you talking  
abt

**featherless biped  
** politicians from this weird  
ass tv show

**JUKEBOX  
** oh ew

**featherless biped  
** deadass LMFAO

**Phil  
** It is IMMENSELY entertaining

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
** Marx-Leninism is our only hope

**Dream Crusher  
** WHY ARE WE DISCUSSING  
SOCIALIST POLITICAL LEADERS  
FROM A TV SHOW?????????

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
** i am going to have to disagree.  
socialism bad

**MELLOHI  
** king literally look at ur presidency

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**.  
im getting bullied

**CAT  
** didnt ask

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
** bruh

**JUKEBOX  
** okay but arguably socialism would  
be the best fit for this country?  
i mean, we don't even have 'private  
property', most of it's personal (homes,  
tooth brushes, shit that you got yourself)  
and public (stuff like church prime, the  
holy land, etc.) already.  
We all basically do what we need for ourselves  
at this point, it would just be that we would  
divide profit equally between ourselves.  
Like, it would be a lot easier to avoid conflict  
considering the basis of that type of system is  
working together and for the people.

**Phil  
** It was a Monday at 3:46 P.M when Tommy  
suggested that we switch from 'everyone for  
themselves' to socialism.

**JUKEBOX  
** AM I FUCKING WRONG???  
At the very least we could make it easier  
for those who've lost housing and most,  
if not all, of their items because of war  
and you guys blowing up L'Manberg. Again.  
It's the best way to care for all the people  
on the SMP.

**MELLOHI  
** youre telling me.  
that the way to choose people, _really_  
choose people, is to be a socialist?

**JUKEBOX  
** i mean,,,, yeah, i guess??

**MELLOHI  
** im convinced

**CAT  
** WH  
HOW IS IT THAT EASY TO CONVINCE  
YOU OF SHIT??????????

**MELLOHI  
** i have the backbone of a chocolate  
eclair  
also i just want everyone to be happy

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
** im sorry, are we GENUINELY considering  
this right now?  
right after a death, we're just going right  
back into politics?

**featherless biped  
** to be fair, when have we not done that?  
right after we thought wilbur died we were  
like "damn :/ anyways tubbo ur president"

**gogchamp  
** LMFAO YALL RLLY DID THAT?

**funds :D  
** WE DID AND ITS LOWKEY KINDA FUNNY  
THINKING BACK ON IT

**Dream Crusher  
** You thought I was dead?

**Phil  
** I mean, you were dying

**Dream Crusher  
** True

**JUKEBOX  
** the thing is, it also wouldn't work with a  
president, or some sort of higher power.  
it's an all for one and one for all sort of  
deal.  
as much as having a president is the  
norm for people, and seems the most  
comforting, it doesn't work in the context  
of socialism. we'd have to completely  
abolish any and all form of government in  
order for this to work effectively.

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
** im not proud im not proud im not proud  
im not proud im not proud im not proud  
im not proud im not proud im not proud  
im not

**JUKEBOX  
** as much as im proud of my homie for being  
the president, you'd have to step down for  
this.

**CAT  
** where do i sign up.  
please i dont want to do thsi anymore.  
you dont understand how fucking stresfull it  
is.  
anything to get out of this goddamn job

**JUKEBOX  
** i-  
aight then

**Tree Sap  
** so we're all just....  
going along with this?

**funds :D  
** i mean, i feel like we'd need to have a more  
in-depth discussion about this.  
tubbo isnt the only person in the cabinet,  
after all.

**JUKEBOX  
** and im cool with us having an in-depth  
discussion about this! im just saying, its the  
most logical course of action

**gogchamp  
** hm.  
lets say wednesday at noon?

**JUKEBOX  
** im down

**MELLOHI  
** sure,, if i remember

**CAT  
** i'll put it on the calender

**featherless biped  
** aaahhh,, i'll have to cancel plans with karl  
and sap if we do it on wednesday :(

**Tree Sap  
** I mean, this sort of concerns all of us, so  
would we not come as well?

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
** ^ i figured this was an everyone thing

**CAT  
** i mean, everyone else can come too  
if they really want to 

**gogchamp  
** bet 

**Tree Sap  
** this is going to be,,, inch resting

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
** dear lord,,,,,,

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
** I'm showing up just to watch this go down.

**Dream Crusher  
** I just.  
I'm in shock.  
Did this just happen? Did I just witness this?

**Phil**  
I think you did, Wil.  
I think you did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess my political alignment challenge i bet you cant
> 
> i am now using this fic to spread my anarchosocialist propaganda and You Can't Stop Me


	11. what happens in SMPLive STAYS in SMPLive

_**ONLINE** _

_Phil is Online_

_CAT is Online_

_funds :D is Online_

_Tree Sap is Online_

_MELLOHI is Online_

_JUKEBOX is Online_

_gogchamp is Online_

_Dream Crusher is Online_

_featherless biped is Online_

_youre a pawn for the wealthy is Online_

_EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST is Online_

_listens to sweater weather (derogatory) is Online_

**_OFFLINE_ **

_Dream is Offline_

**_Pog Bitches That Need Therapy (+ Dream)_ **

**Dream Crusher  
**PLEASE WHY DID SCHLATT THROW A  
CHAIR ME WHEN I TOLD HIM HE  
COULDNT START A CYRPTOCURRENCY  
UNDER SOCIAILISM

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**i hate leftists

**CAT  
**is that what happened to my chair when  
i went to the bathrom????

**funds :D  
**no comment

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**perhaps

**CAT  
**plz,,,,,<////3

**JUKEBOX  
**okay but i popped off

**gogchamp  
**u really did i honestly wasnt expecting  
it tbh  
never seen someone pop off so hard

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**u did... u really did pop off

**featherless biped  
**im pretty sure techno started crying

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**Fake news

**[PHIL HAS SENT technocrypt2electricboogaloo.jpg]**

**Phil  
**This u?

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**Literally what the fuck

**Dream Crusher  
**lol imagine crying over Tommy taking  
charge and sticking up for what he  
believes in.  
Couldn't be me.

**Phil  
**Bet.

**Dream Crusher  
**Oh no.

**funds :D  
**you fell into his trap

**[PHIL HAS SENT wilbahcry.jpg]**

**JUKEBOX  
**'wilbah'

**Tree Sap  
**why does he look like that LMFAO

**funds :D  
**LNFJDHDMJKAHDJMKSFJMSK

**gogchamp  
**IM CRYING WHAT IS THAT

**featherless biped  
**I WAS JUST ABT TO SAY LMAOOOO

**listens to sweater weahter (derogatory)  
**you good dog?????

**MELLOHI  
**the beanie being pulled over his eyes  
to hide the tears PLZZZZZZ

**CAT  
**STOP WHY IS HE STOOD LIKE THAT LMFKA  
KJAKFNMJKSHNKHDHJD

**Dream Crusher  
**The blatant harassment.

**Phil has changed his name to This U?**

**This U?  
**No one is safe.

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**this isnt even the first time ive seen  
wilbur cry but its definitely the  
funniest

**Dream Crusher  
**Shut the fuck up

**JUKEBOX  
**no i wanna hear this  
i havent seen you cry in years so how  
has schlatt??????

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**^^^^  
I would also like to know???

**funds :D  
**im his whole ass son and ive never  
seen it so.  
hand over the knowledge.

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**.  
you havent told anyone???

**This U?  
**That's Not Ominous At All.

**gogchamp  
**im fearing but also Tell Us.

**featherless biped  
**WAIT HOLD ON I NEED TO GET  
SOME SNACKS  
DONT SPILL ANYTHING UNTIL IM  
BACK WAIT WAIT WAIT

**Tree Sap  
**LMFAOOOOOOOOO  
LIKE ITS A DAMN MOVIE

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**LITERALLY  
I HATE THIS FOOL

**gogchamp  
**once quackity gets back ur spilling the  
deatails

**Dream Crusher  
**We're not spilling ANYTHING so it  
doesn't matter if you get snacks.

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**literally what are you so embarrassed  
about?  
its not even that bad

**Dream Crusher  
**It is The Worst The To Ever Happen in  
the history of the Entire Multiverse.

**JUKEBOX  
**stop being so vague im crying

**Tree Sap  
**wait hold on,,,,,,,  
this is lowkey inch resting i-

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)**  
not me being intrigued,,,,

**funds :D  
**eyes emoji

**gogchamp  
**"eyes emoji" i hate it here

**funds :D  
**i dont have emojis on my computer okay :(

**gogchamp  
**youre so right im very sorry fundy

**funds :D  
**:) tyvm

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**George simp moments pt. 24

**gogchamp  
**fuck you.

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST**  
But also; I will intimidate the truth out of you.

**MELLOHI  
**the lore is expanding

**CAT  
**wilbah keeping secrets again sigh

**Dream Catcher  
**YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND IF YOU  
KNEW WHAT IT WAS, TUBIAS

**CAT  
**t  
tubias.....,,,,

**featherless biped  
**im back yall can Continue

**Dream Catcher  
**We won't be.

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**okay basically what had happened was

**Dream Catcher  
**plz,,,,,  
what happens in SMPLive STAYS  
in SMPLive

**JUKEBOX  
**SMPLIVE!?!?!?!  
okay now i HAVE to fucking know  
you literally never tell me shit about  
SMPLive  
cough up the details, JSlut

**youre a pawn for the wealthy  
**j,,,,,,jslut,,,

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAT ME FIRST  
**You heard the man.  
Cough up those details, JSlut.

**Dream Catcher has changed  
youre a pawn for the wealthy's name to  
jslut**

**jslut  
**.  
moving on.

**This U?  
**WAIT IS IT WHAT I THINK IT IS???

**Dream Catcher  
**...  
Depends on what u think It Is.

**This U?  
**IS IT WHEN YOU GUYS *** *****  
*******????????  
CAUSE IF IT IS LMFAOOOOOOO

**Dream Catcher  
**PLZ HOW DO YOU EVEN KNWO ABT  
THAT

**jslut  
**Philza Minecraft all knowing moments

**This U?  
**You abused my youngest sons best friend  
and exiled one of my oldest stfu

**jslut  
**okay serial child abandoner.

**This U?  
**.

**JUKEBOX  
**LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**CAT  
**PLZZZZZZZZZZZZ

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**LOOOOOOOOOL

**Dream Crusher  
**Maybe Schlatt is funny Sometimes.

**jslut  
**<3

**Dream Crusher  
**Die.

**This U?  
**Fuck you Wil, I'm telling them now.

**Dream Crusher  
**wAIT NO

**This U?  
**SO BASICALLY WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS  
They brought everyone who had lived in  
SMPLive together for a reunion because they  
were going to be tearing it down, and for some  
reason I was also invited (? still now sure why)  
and when I showed up Wil and Schlatt were  
absolutely pissed. Like, I could barely understand  
what the fuck they were saying they were that  
drunk.  
And Wilbur is known to just Say Shit when he's  
drunk like that, so he was all like;  
"Hey, Schlatt, wanna get married?" as a joke,  
because he thinks that kind of shit is funny,  
and even I thought that Schlatt would just take  
it as a joke, but then he looks Wilbur DEAD ON  
and says all serious, "Yes."  
And I was like "????" because ????  
And Wilbur was drunk as fuck so he just thought  
Schlatt was going along with the fucking bit and  
they,,,, got????? drunk married???????????  
AND LIKE THEY NEVER EVEN GOT LEGALLY  
DIVORCED SO THEY ARE TECHNICALLY STILL  
MARRIED???????????????  
SO THEY ARE HUSBANDS STILL?????  
LIKE THEY OBVIOUSLY DONT DO ANYTHING  
WITH IT AND THEY DONT ACTUALLY ACT  
MARRIED AND DONT WANT TO BE BUT I JUST  
STILL FIND IT SO FUNNY TO THINK ABOUT HOW  
THOSE TWO WHO USED TO BE FRIENDS GOT  
DRUNK MARRIED AND THEN WENT INTO A WAR  
ON OPPOSING SIDES  
LIKE HOW DOES THAT EVEN FUCKING HAPPEN  
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
ESPECIALLY BECAUSE SCHLATT HAS ALWAYS  
BEEN VERY VOCAL ABOUT NOT WANTING TO  
COMMIT TO A RELATIONSHIP?????  
IT'S JUST SO WILD TO ME

**JUKEBOX  
**BRUHUUHHHHHH LMFAO

**CAT  
**THEYRE FUCKING MARRIED???  
I HATE IT HERE HOW HAS THIS NEVER COME  
UP BEFORE?????

**MELLOHI  
**my favorite couple<3

**Dream Crusher  
**Don't say that again ever.

**MELLOHI  
**MY FAVORITE COUPLE<3

**Dream Crusher  
**heart been broke so many times

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**Top ten things I never thought I would  
read: Number one, that.

**gogchamp  
**STOP THE CAPPPPP

**funds :D  
**YOURE LYING  
YOURE LITERALLY LYING

**This U?  
**IM NOT THATS WHY ITS SO FUNNY

**Dream Crusher  
**He refuses to let me get a divorce because he  
wants to 'keep the bit going'.

**jslut  
**and i live by that.

**Dream Crusher**  
Bro let me be free please I'm begging.

**jslut  
**Sorry sweetheart, you're stuck with me.

**Dream Crusher  
**I despise you.

**jslut  
**you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look  
stupid.

**Dream Crusher  
**im getting RT.

**jslut  
**ur minecraft boyfriend cant help you now

**Dream Crusher  
**PLZ THAT WAS ALSO JUST A BIT LET ME  
LIVEEEEEEE.

**jslut  
**No lol

**Dream Crusher  
**Crying.

**featherless biped  
**oh.  
haha, that's funny  
oof gotta go my dogs are acting up

**JUKEBOX  
**you dont own any dogs????

_featherless biped is Offline_

**JUKEBOX  
**oh.  
that was the point, wasnt it.  
sorry guys.

**Tree Sap  
**ah shiet  
it was, tommy, but its okay.  
you didnt know.

**listens to sweater weather (derogatory)  
**its alright tommy, you didn't know.  
dont beat urself up over it.  
either way;  
woof

_Tree Sap is Offline_

_listens to sweater weather (derogatory) is Offline_

**jslut  
**oh.  
right.  
uhm.  
i should probably deal with that one.  
brb.

_jslut is Offline_

**Dream Crusher  
**This is why I said not to talk about it.  
Probably should have specified that, though,  
so I can't blame you guys.

**JUKEBOX  
**in the words of one Karl Jacobs(king): woof

**CAT  
**woof

**MELLOHI  
**woof

**funds :D  
**woof

**gogchamp  
**woof

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**woof

**This U?  
**woof

**Dream Crusher  
**woof

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur and Schlatt getting drunk married is based off of the SMPLive reunion stream because I am Constantly Thinking About It.
> 
> So.... Ranboo's Trevor project stream (streamed 02/20/21), huh? (i say through tears)
> 
> edit (02/22/21): HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ZOOF IN THE COMMENTS !!! I don't even know them, but everyone wish them a happy birthday :)
> 
> edit 2 (02/23/21): [my carrd for anyone who wants to see it ! :)](https://m1keys.carrd.co)


	12. No, I don't think we need to talk about dog boy Wilbur.

_**ONLINE** _

_CAT is Online_

_This U? is Online_

_MELLOHI is Online_

_JUKEBOX is Online_

_Dream Crusher is Online_

_EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST is Online_

**_OFFLINE_ **

_jslut is Offline_

_Dream is Offline_

_funds :D is Offline_

_Tree Sap is Offline_

_gogchamp is Offline_

_featherless biped is Offline_

_listens to sweater weather (derogatory) is Offline_

**_Pog Bitches That Need Therapy (+ Dream)_ **

** CAT has changed his name to  **  
** CAT BOY TUBBO **

**JUKEBOX  
**hello bestie im afraid to ask but...

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**What did he say?

**This U?  
**Pardon me.

**Dream Crusher  
**C,,,cat boy,,,,, tubbo,,,,,,

**MELLOHI  
**LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO  
YOU ACTUALYL DID IT IM CRZGZ

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**alexa play cat girls are ruining my life

**Dream Crusher  
**CAN I HAVE THE CONTEXT PLEASE??????

**JUKEBOX  
**^^^

**This U?  
**^^

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**^^^^^

**MELLOHI  
**OH OF COURSE YOU CAN MY FRIENDS

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**no stop it

**[MELLOHI HAS SENT catboytubboLOL.jpg]**

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**NO STOP IT

**JUKEBOX  
**HEY BOYS THIS ARGUABLY CREATED  
MORE QUESTIONS

**Dream Crusher  
**STOP YOURE MAKING THIS EVEN MORE  
CONFUSING

**MELLOHI  
**HE LOST A BET

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**I lost a bet.

**MELLOHI  
**IM CRYING THIS SI SO FUNNY

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**i want a divorce

**JUKEBOX  
**WHAJHTHAHTWJTF????????  
PARDON ME???|  
WHAST YO YOU MEBA DIVEFCE???  
TLLE ME NOW  
TLW ME OFR FACRE THE CONSWUQUES

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**.  
anyways

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**No please explain. For the people.

**Dream Crusher**  
NO NO NO  
ANSWER THE MANS QUESTION

**This U?  
**Guys...

**MELLOHI  
**Tax evasion

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**^  
That and Ranboo wanted me to help  
take care of MICHAEL but didn't trust  
me unless he was like,,, legally my child

**MELLOHI  
**Ur a good dad tho !!!

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**i Despise you.

**MELLOHI  
**:D

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**you are nothing but a tax write off

**MELLOHI  
**oh.  
uhm.  
okay then, lol.

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**WAIT WAS THAT TOO FAR WAIT  
NO UR ONE OF MY BEST FIRNEDS  
RANBOO I SWEART  
RANBOO MZY BELOVED ZYOU ARE  
SO POGGERSCHAMPION I PKOMISE  
NEVER CHANZGE YOU RE AT YOUE  
PEAK PERFOMANCE RIGHT NOW  
I LOVE YOU MY TAX WRITE OFF

**MELLOHI  
**PLZ THE WAY I WAS JOKING

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**oh.  
fuck you then, i hope u die.

**MELLOHI  
**LMFAO PLZZZZZZZZ

**JUKEBOX  
**im still caught up,,,, on the image,,  
how did you even get a hold of a  
fucking.,,,,  
how did you get a hold of a cat ear  
headband,,,,,, and why does it look  
fuckign realistic,,,,,  
AND WHY WAS A SKIRT INVOLVED  
IN THE EQUATION????

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**why do you think i look so pissed off  
i Did Not want to Be There

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**Honestly, the fact that I can see Ranboo  
cry laughing in the reflection of the window  
just tops this image off

**This U?  
**wait this reminds me of dog boy wil

**JUKEBOX  
**IT REWAMINDS YOU OF WHAT????

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**HOD< ON A MINUTE

**MELLOHI  
**HAND OVER DOG BOY WILBUR

**Dream Crusher**  
No, I don't think we need to talk about  
dog boy Wilbur.

**MELLOHI  
**WE ONE HUNDRED PERCENT DO

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**WE ARE TALKING ABOUT DOG BOY  
WILBUR  
I NEED TO KNOW

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**Dog boy Wilbur... I haven't seen that  
man in years...

**Dream Crusher  
**YES AND LET US KEEP IT THAT WAY

**JUKEBOX  
**LET US NOT  
TELL ME ABOUT DOG BOY WILBUR  
THIS INSTANT

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**Wilbur, if it makes you feel better, I  
found Tommy holed up underneath  
my house like a raccoon after he  
escaped exile.

**Dream Crusher  
**LMFAO

**JUKEBOX  
**i was not like a raccoon

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**you had an entire chest full of tools  
that were basically broken and food  
that i'd had in my throw out drawer

**JUKEBOX  
**YOU WERE WASTING PERFECTLY  
GOOD FOOD AND TOOLS???? THE  
FOOD WAS STILL EDIBLE AND THE  
TOOLS STILL FUCKING WORKED??  
???? THERE WAS NO REASON TO  
THROW THEM OUT????

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**Half of the food was literally a day  
from rotting.

**JUKEBOX  
**.  
it was still edible.

**Dream Crusher  
**I mean.  
It could very well have been because  
he was malnourished.

**JUKEBOX  
**Not talking about that right now, please.

**Dream Crusher  
**Okay, sorry.

**JUKEBOX  
**its chill.  
buT I WAS NOT A RACCOON

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**You definitely were.  
I assign you raccoon syndrome.

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
has changed JUKEBOX's name to  
RACCOONINNIT**

**RACCOONINNIT  
**Fuck you.

**This U?  
**I FOUND THE PICTURES OF DOG  
BOY WILBUR

**Dream Crusher  
**NO YOU DIDNT  
FUCK OFF YOURE LYING  
THOSE ARE LIKE EIGHT YEARS OLD  
HOW DID YOU FIND THEM?????

**This U?  
**THEYRE ALL THE TOP OF THE WILBUR  
PHOTO ALBUM ON MY PHONE

**MELLOHI  
**you have a photo album just for pics of  
wilbur????

**This U?  
**I have one for all of my kids. Biological  
and jokingly wise.

**MELLOHI  
**.  
do i have one.

**[THIS U? HAS SENT ranboograssblock.jpg]**

**This U?  
**Maybe.

**MELLOHI  
**omg :0

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**okay but do i.

**[THIS U? HAS SENT tubbe:).jpb]**

**This U?  
**Also maybe.  
Anyways back to Dog Boy Wilbur.

**Dream Crusher  
**plz,,,,,,,,

**[THIS U? HAS SENT dogboywilbur.jpg]**

**Dream Crusher  
**PLZ  
I'm going to jump off my house.

**MELLOHI  
**STOP WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE  
HE BELONGS IN THE WHAT DOES  
THE FOX SAY MUSIC VIDEO  
IM LOSING MY MIND MF DID  
YOU STEAL THAT OUTFIT FROM  
SET OR SMTHN LMFAOOOOOO

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**STOPPPPPPPPP HE DOESSSSSS  
"WOW POW POW POW POW PA  
POW" ASS BITCH LMAOOOOOOO

**RACCOONINNIT  
**"DOG GOES WOOF, CAT GOES MEOW"  
HEADASS

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**"Ring ting ting ting ting ta ting" looking  
ass

**This U? has changed Dream Crushers  
name to Dog Boy Wilbur**

**Dog Boy Wilbur  
**Hm. Don't like this.

**RACCOONINNIT  
**WAIT WAIT  
HOLD ON LET ME FIND SOMETHING

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**i dont like the sound of that One Bit.

**MELLOHI  
**same....

**This U?  
**It can't be that bad.

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**You underestimate Tommy greatly.

**Dog Boy Wilbur  
**I can only assume he's going to crush  
someones image when he gets back.

**This U?  
**Hm. That is incredibly ominous.

**RACCOONINNIT  
**IU FOUND IT

**[RACCOONINNIT HAS SENT scaleymoment.jpg]**

**RACCOONINNIT has changed  
MELLOHIs name to A LITERAL DRAGON**

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
**.  
im not,,,  
im not in the photo actually

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**king you are literally wearing a 'hi  
my name is ranboo' sticker on ur  
forehead</3

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
**i suddenly cannot see.

**This U?  
**.  
Is that an actual dragons hide?

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
**...  
No.

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**There is quite literally still blood  
on it.

**RACCOONINNIT  
**we're not even gonna talk about  
how he's wearing it like a onesie?

**Dog Boy Wilbur  
**I am much more concerned about  
where he got a fucking dragon hide

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**^^^^^

**This U?  
**^^

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
**Whoopsies gotta blast.

_A Literal Dragon is Offline_

**RACCOONINNIT  
**this bitch.

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**hell be back

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**Okay so we have Dragboo, Cat Boy  
Tubbo, Dog Boy Wilbur, and  
RaccoonInnit.  
What else is there?

**Dog Boy Wilbur  
**You are a Whole Ass Piglin.

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST  
**Oh shit, yeah.

**EAT THE RICH BUT PAY ME FIRST has changed  
** **his name to PIG BUT NOT A COP**

**RACCOONINNIT  
**LMFAOOOOOOO

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**PLZZZZZ

**Dog Boy Wilbur  
**I'm done.

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
**Phil, it's your turn.

**This U?  
**What the hell would I even be?

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**People who identify as birds call  
themselves avians.

**RACCOONINNIT  
**goodmorning bestie how the fuck do  
you know that<3

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**ranboo likes to look shit up a lot and  
apparently i am the best person to  
send his discoveries to

**This U? has changed his  
** **name to pigeon man**

**pigeon man  
**This good?

**RACCOONINNIT  
**a pigeon bruh...

**Dog Boy Wilbur  
**arent you,, part raven tho,,,,

**pigeon man  
**.  
No further questions.

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
**LMAO  
What is this a trial???

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**Here we have Philza Minecraft on  
the stand for third degree murder.

**RACCOONINNIT  
**It wasnt him your honor he was too  
busy getting the pigeon bitches

**Dog Boy Wilbur  
**Your honor, if it was Phil then how  
come he has the drip? No criminal  
would dress this well.

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**Even if he had committed the murder,  
which he didn't, he's built too different  
to be sent to jail.

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
**In Mr. Minecraft's defense, your honor,  
the victim had it coming.

**pigeon man**  
Literally none of you should become  
lawyers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TUBBO AND RANBOO PLATONIC MARRIAGE FOR TAX FRAUD REASONS POG????
> 
> SBI + TUBBO AND RANBOO CENTRIC CHAPTER BEFORE WE GET INTO THE QUACKITY ANGST BECAUSE I AM SAD
> 
> katie u will get ur quackity angst soon plz dont harass me
> 
> (p.s ! I currently have a Dream SMP/Hermit Craft crossover and a Dream SMP 80's AU in the works, so be on the look out for those !!)


	13. I Loved You, It’s True (and Sometimes I Feel Like I Still Fucking Do)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Schlatt (poorly) apologizes. (It doesn't cut it, obviously.)
> 
> tw// anxiety attacks, mentioned domestic and physical abuse, mentioned alcoholism, mentioned vomit,

Alex didn't know why he was so fucked up over this. He figured that he was done with all of these stupid emotions. Schlatt had never cared for him romantically, that much was clear by the countless nights he'd been pushed to the side and the dozens of cuts from picking up broken glass bottles. The yelling had been the tipping point, it had always been the yelling. Not even when it was only directed at him, sometimes it would be directed at Tubbo and it'd leave him shaken for the rest of the night.

He should be over this by now.  _ God _ he should be over this. Over  _ him _ .

He sits on the floor, backing himself into the corner of the room, pulls his knees to his chest and rests his head onto his knees.

There's a knock at the door, and he flinches. Is that Schlatt? Does he need him to do some paperwork? Is he mad? Did he find out that he's been hiding some of the alcohol? He just wants Schlatt to be a little bit sober. It's not healthy to be blackout drunk all the time. He's doing it for Schlatt's health, he's not trying to be insubordinate he swears. Don't yell don't yell don't yell, PLEASE don't yell, please please please please please-

"Alex?" that's... not Schlatt's voice, "Alex, are you okay?" no. That's not Schlatt. That's... Karl. It's Karl and he sounds worried, scared, even.

Another voice speaks next, this one belonging to Sapnap instead, "Do you want us to come inside, Alex?" he sounds just as scared, and it breaks Alex's heart.

Both of them sound so terrified. Not of Alex, but  _ for  _ him. It's rare they see him like this, hell, it's rare that  _ anyone  _ sees him like this. He's shaking, and he can feel the tears rolling down his face onto his hands. He looks, if he had to put it simply, kinda pathetic. He knows it's okay to cry, he really does, but he can't help but feel so weak for crying over something that should have been so  _ small _ . He shouldn't be this beaten up over it. He should be laughing about it. Why isn't he laughing?

His breathing picks up as he tries to think of what could possibly be wrong with him, and there's some startled sound on the other side of the door, followed by a whispered conversation.

"We're coming in." Sapnap says, and then he's in the room with Karl by his side and they're stood in front of where he's sat on the ground with his knees to his chest. He doesn't bother looking up at them, staring at their shoes while he covers his ears and practically stops breathing on instinct. He's only ever had Schlatt in here, and every time was to yell at him for this, that, or the other. He's going to get yelled at, and then he's going to get his room absolutely destroyed, and then he's going to have to clean it up himself or else it'll happen all over again. He's been through this enough times to know how it'll go. He's got it memorized at this point.

Karl leans down in front of him, the multi-colored jacket entering his vision, but he doesn't calm down. He can't. He's too scared. He doesn't want to be scared of them, knows that he has no reason to be, but he can't help it. It makes him feel so bad.

"Alex, are you okay with us touching you?" Karl asks, it's muffled but Alex can make it out, and he shakes his head. He'd flip out if either of them touched him right now, he knows that. Karl pulls Sapnap down by the hand to be kneeling as well. They don't let go of each others hands even after Sapnap's kneeling, it makes something in his chest ache. "Okay. Okay. We won't touch you."

Sapnap lowers his head to be in Alex's view, "Can you take your hands off your ears for us?" He doesn't want to. He  _ really  _ doesn't want to. He wants this conversation to be as quiet as he can get it without making them write everything out. Doesn't want to hear how loud they'll get. He mostly wants this conversation to be over, but he knows that he can't just slide past this. Knows he needs to talk about it. He doesn't want to, but he needs to, and he knows that they know that, too. Slowly, he uncovers his ears.

Sapnap smiles at him, "Good job. You're doing great." He knows he isn't, but he appreciates the words anyway. "Can you take in a deep breath for me? Or for Karl?" he reaches out to lay a hand on Alex's shoulder, but stops himself when he realizes what he's doing and grabs the end of his own shirt instead. Alex takes in one shaky breath, finally realizing how much pain his lungs were in.

Karl makes an elated noise as he regulates his breathing, and he doesn't know if he likes that or not. It feels odd for someone to be so happy about him breathing in this context, but he's glad that someone cares.

"You're a natural at this." He says, and Alex lets out a small laugh.

"Been in this situation enough times to know how to get myself out of it. First time people have been here to help, though." he mumbles, and his throat hurts. He doesn't even know why, he hasn't been yelling. He looks up, and the pitying expressions on their faces makes him feel even weaker than he had before. He doesn't want their pity. He's strong. He doesn't  _ need  _ it.

Karl digs the heels of his hands into his eyes with a groan, "Fuck, I wanna hug you so  _ bad  _ but you don't want to be touched so I  _ can't _ ." Sapnap laughs at that, and Alex can't help but do so as well.

"God, same."

Alex runs a hand down the side of his face, "I'm sorry."

Karl turns from concerned to regretful in a second, he waves his hand frantically, "No! No! Don't be sorry! It's fine that you don't want to be touched right now! I...  _ fuck _ , I shouldn't have said that. Just... sorry."

Alex doesn't say anything, just hugs himself closer and realizes how little it actually helps. It isn't like Karl, who rubs his arms and back and fiddles with his hair whenever they need a good cuddle session to calm down. It isn't like Sapnap, who whispers reassuring things into your ear as he holds your hand loosely and plays music quietly on his phone. It isn't both of them at once, which is an odd mix but a comforting one nonetheless. He wants it to be them, but he isn't ready for it yet.

He chooses not to think about the two different ways that could apply.

Sapnap pulls out his phone and puts on the playlist they've all dubbed 'me and the homies getting depressed' before leaning his head onto Karl's shoulder. Karl puts an arm around Sapnap and closes his eyes to the music. Sapnap stares up at Karl like a lovesick fool. Alex just watches them with his chin resting on his knees.

He hates it.

No, he doesn't hate it, but... he hates it. It's confusing. His mind is making him confused. On one hand he wants them to be happy, and if being that way with each other makes them happy then he's glad to see it, but on the other hand he doesn't want them getting so close that they forget about him. He doesn't want the reminder that not only was he not good enough for either of them, but he wasn't worth it to keep around as a friend once they realized they were perfect for each other.

He wasn't even good enough for Schlatt, whose standards are  _ criminally  _ low, of course he wouldn't be good enough for people like Karl and Sapnap.

Karl is almost untouchable half the time. He's got his head in the clouds most of the time, but when he lets himself come back down it's impossible to look away from him. He steals your attention, draws you in with his personality, and before you know it you hate to see him leave. He looks at you, and you feel like you've just come home. He laughs, and you never want the sound to stop. He smiles, and you've fallen in love before you can blink.

Sapnap is like fire. He's burning with energy, passion so hot it could burn you from a mile away. He cares with his entire being, willing to put himself on the pyre for his friends who he basically regards as family. If you were to ask him to jump, he'd already be in the air before he could ask how high. He gives you a gift, and you feel safe for the first time in forever. He fights for you, and you can't but smile. He holds out his hand, and you can feel the love growing inside of you when you take it.

Alex is touchable, and he is not like fire. He's never been close to the clouds, and he has no passions. He is easy to look over, and he is too much of a coward to let himself care. He has never been asked to jump. He never feels like coming home. People don't hate it when he leaves. People don't want him to laugh. People don't want him to fight for them. People don't pay attention to his smile. People don't take his held out hands.

Karl and Sapnap will always deserve each other. Alex will never deserve either of them.

He buries his head into his arms to try and hide the tears that have started to fall again. He doesn't want to cry twice in such a short amount of time (had he even stopped the first time?), that would be weak. Alex is not weak. He refuses to be. Schlatt had called him weak once for crying, and he will  _ never  _ let himself prove Schlatt right. Schlatt doesn't deserve to be right about anything regarding him. Schlatt can go burn in hell for all he cares.

Karl - as observant as usual - notices anyways, and makes a questioning noise. Alex just shakes his head, and then shrugs. He isn't even sure what that means, which means Karl has less of an idea, but he doesn't want to speak right now. Doesn't want to say that he doesn't feel good enough for anyone, because then he'd have to not only admit it to the two most important people in his life, but to himself as well. He doesn't want to do that. Not yet.

There's another knock, this time on the door frame, and Alex looks up so fast his neck cracks. There, stood in the doorway, is Schlatt.

He freaks out all over again.

He's backing himself into the wall again, alternating covering his face with his arms and clasping his hands over his ears. It didn't matter which one he did, Schlatt would yell and throw the bottle at him anyways. He never got out of a Schlatt visit unharmed, he didn't see why this would be an exception. There's a shuffling of movement in front of him, and he shrinks in on himself.

Sapnap stands while Karl frantically asks if he wants to be hugged. Alex can't do anything. He can't move. He can't speak. He can't hear. He can't see. Why can't he see? Did he get glass in his eye again? That hadn't been fun the first time around. There was slight damage, his eye-sight just a little too blurry, but once he'd gotten into the duel with Techno all sight had left it anyways so it didn't matter.

Sapnap is saying something, and Karl is making moves to touch him but stopping short because Alex never gave him the go ahead, and he can feel Schlatt making steps further into the room, and he can smell the alcohol, and he can feel the grip on his wrist, and he can hear the yelling, and he can see Tubbo stood at the door frozen in fear, and he can see Fundy cowering behind him as he does everything he can to make sure Schlatt doesn't do anything bad to him, and he can feel the glass in his arms, and he can feel the blood trickling down, and he can feel himself shaking like a leaf, and he can hear the reprimands for being so weak, and he can't breathe.

He... can't breathe. Why can't he breathe? Why is he in so much pain? Why does everything hurt? Why is he getting yelled at? Why is he bleeding? Why can't he see? What's wrong with him? Why can't he breathe? Why can't he do  _ better _ ? Why isn't he  _ good  _ enough? Why can't he stop anything bad from happening? Why why why w _ hy why why why why why- _

A suit jacket falls over his head, and everything comes to an abrupt stop.

What the fuck?

It's dark, but he's too confused for that to freak him out. He reaches an arm up to the fabric covering his head, it's soft, and slowly pulls it down. The light floods his teary eyes again, and he surveys the room to get his bearings. Karl is still next to him, Sapnap is still stood in front of him, and Schlatt is stood in front of Sapnap. It looks the exact same, but... Schlatt isn't wearing his suit jacket now.

He looks at the suit jacket in his hand, grip tightening on it, before looking up at Schlatt who refuses to make eye contact with him. He looks guilty. Like he just hurt a baby deer and has to watch it bleed out as punishment, Oh, fuck that.

"Look at me." He says, voice level. It's odd, being the one to demand to be looked at, but he won't be treated like a fragile leaf. He doesn't need it. Not from Schlatt, at least. Anyone else is fine, because he knows it's genuine, but not Schlatt.  _ Never  _ Schlatt. "Schlatt, look at me."

Schlatt hesitantly turns his head to the left, making reluctant eye contact, and Alex can't help but think if this is what he looked like all those times he was on the receiving end of such a demand. It's unlikely that he did. Schlatt doesn't look near terrified enough to match what Alex was feeling in those moments, and it's likely he never will. No fear of Schlatt's will ever match what Alex felt just before a bottle came down.

"Why are you," his voice cracks, "here?" Schlatt sighs, running a hand down the side of his face in slight frustration. He looks like he's trying not to flip out, or snap, or whatever else it is that Schlatt typically does in an uncomfortable situation, and it's almost weird seeing him so quiet.

"I just..." he tucks his hands into his pant pockets, "wanted to apologize. For... everything, I guess."

Alex sees fucking red. Is this a joke? Is he being punked? Schlatt of all people is  _ apologizing  _ to him? What the  _ fuck _ ? No. He is not taking this. He  _ refuses  _ to let this happen. All of the fear fades away into a sharp and burning rage, and he stands up so quickly that it knocks Karl off the tips of his toes where he was crouched in front of Alex and onto his ass.

"Apologize? Are you actually fucking kidding me?" He takes a step forward, Schlatt takes one back, "You don't fucking  _ get  _ to apologize.  _ Especially  _ in as half-assed a way as that! You guess. You fucking  _ guess _ ? You threw glass bottles at me aiming for the  _ fucking  _ head, you yelled at me until you lost your voice and once you would get it back you'd blame  _ me  _ for making you lose your voice, you would make me clean up your empty bottles and throw-up, you would make me do your dirty laundry cause you were too hungover or drunk to do it yourself, but you  _ guess  _ you're sorry? You  _ guess _ .

"Do you have  _ any  _ idea how much you fucked me up? Any at  _ all _ ?" Schlatt just stares at him in shock, and Sapnap's moved to stand next to Karl, but he doesn't wait for Schlatt to give any sign that he'd understood what he said before continuing, "Did you know that I can't drink anything out of glass bottle anymore? Can't even  _ look  _ at someone drinking out of a glass bottle without flipping the fuck out. Did you know that I can't listen to  _ I'm Still Standing  _ anymore because you would blast it when you were getting drunk off your ass? Did you know that I can't sleep at night unless there's a suit jacket and tie ready for me to put on in case I need to be out for an emergency clean up? Did you know that I still try to excuse your actions to myself? Did you know that I count my scars every night to make sure I'm not dreaming and I'm not going to wake up to screaming in my face?

"Did you know that I don't feel like I'm worth anything anymore? Like I'm some fucking meaningless thing drifting around? I don't even feel like I'm good enough to be friends with people anymore. I feel like I don't deserve anything good because you took away all of the shit that made me happy. And for what! What the  _ fuck  _ was it all for, Schlatt? Power? Money? Were you just trying to piss off your  _ husband _ ? Because apparently you can commit when it's a  _ joke,  _ but not when I've spent fucking  _ years  _ trying to build trust with you. Not when we've been friends for so long we can remember each others fifth birthday. Not when it's  _ real _ . Not when I fucking  _ love  _ you!

"Yeah. That's right. Love. Not loved,  _ love _ . Because for some sick, twisted reason I can't fucking stop myself from loving you! I fucking hate you, and I want to beat the shit out of you half the time, but I still love you! Who you fucking  _ used  _ to be! Where did  _ he _ go, huh? Where's the Schlatt that brought me soup when I was sick? The Schlatt that showed up to my fourth birthday when no one else did? The Schlatt that helped me through Algebra in middle school? The Schlatt that looked fucking  _ ecstatic  _ when I asked him on a date four years ago? Where the  _ fuck  _ did he go, Jay?!"

He's shaking, violently, and he can barely breathe through the hot tears streaming down his face and the yelling. He isn't even sure when he started yelling, but he can't stop himself. He hates yelling, he knows that everyone does, but he just can't help it right now. He's been holding it in for too long.

"What did you even plan to  _ gain _ from any of this? What did you get that you didn't already have with me, and Connor, and Travis, and everyone else from SMP Live? What were we missing? What made you want to leave so  _ bad _ ? What was so  _ appealing _ about all of this? Did you just want to be a dick? Were you mad that you lost your fucking crypto-currency? Did you miss terrorizing people? What was the end goal here, Schlatt?

"SMP Live wasn't enough for you. The Lunch Club wasn't good enough for you. The two of us on our own wasn't good enough for you. Why is  _ nothing _ ever  _ good enough _ for you?

"Why couldn't  _ this _ be good enough for you?! Why wasn't just being the fucking President good enough for you?! Why wasn't having the power you wanted good enough for you?!" He throws the suit jacket to the side, gripping at his chest through the shirt he's wearing, "Why wasn't I good enough?!"

It's silent - not counting Alex's sobbing - as the words hang in the air, until Alex falls to his knees, hugging himself as he chokes on sobs. He feels cold despite his room always having been the warmest in the house. "Why wasn't I good enough." he mumbles.

Two pairs of arms come around him, and he immediately buries his face into one of the shoulders he can feel. His chest heaves with the shaky breathes he takes in before letting the air back out in screaming sobs. He feels so empty. Like someone opened up the dam and let the water flood the town, creating destruction everywhere it went until there was nothing left but a larger lake. He's exhausted. His throat hurts, his chest feels like it's being torn apart, and it hurts to blink.

He hurts, but he doesn't mind.

There's retreating footsteps a small while later, but Alex doesn't bother to look up. He knows Schlatt left. Knows he isn't going to be coming back any time soon. He's kind of glad he isn't.

However long it took for Alex to calm down, to finally stop crying and to feel like he could speak without bursting into tears again, he doesn't want to know but he's glad that Sapnap and Karl stayed with him the entire time. Karl rubbing his back and arms, Sapnap whispering in his ear and fiddling with his hair, the music still playing on Sapnap's phone. It's nice. He loves doing this with them.

He loves them.

It makes his heart drop every single time he admits that. He'd figured that after Schlatt he'd never fall in love so easily again, but Karl and Sapnap had just made it feel so comforting. They'd never done anything to make him feel unsafe, never done anything for their own benefit, never made him feel like shit for something small. It was the bare minimum, but it meant so much to him. It didn't help that they were just good people in general, it was a server wide agreement that Karl was amazing and everyone but Tommy seemed to be fine with Sapnap (Alex knows it's all an act, he had seen the fond look on Sapnap's face when he talked about how annoying Tommy was), which only made it easier to fall for them.

He loves them, he wants to be with them, but he isn't ready yet. He's afraid that it'll all go wrong again. That they'll realize that he isn't as great as they once thought. That they'll realize he's not worth the effort. That Schlatt was right during his drunken rambles, and no one would ever love him as much as Schlatt once had (if he'd ever even loved him at all).

Right people, wrong time.

He loves them, but he's not ready yet.

He hopes they wont mind having to wait for him.

Karl and Sapnap sit next to Alex on his bed in silence. He'd passed out after all the crying, it really had taken a lot out of him, and they'd moved him onto the mattress so he wouldn't wake up sore in the morning. They're holding hands for comfort, and Karl looks lost in thought. Sapnap is still reeling from what happened an hour ago. He hadn't expected Alex to go in so hard, hadn't expected so much to come spilling out just due to pure, unfiltered fury. Hadn't expected Schlatt to take it silently, and leave blank faced without a word. He hadn't expected any of it, but he's proud.

Proud of Alex for sticking up for himself. Proud of Alex for not accepting such a shit apology (he'd been about to say the same, but Alex had beat him to it). Proud of Alex for not letting any of the shit he'd pulled go. Proud of Alex for talking so openly about the way he was feeling. He's just... proud. And he could see it on Karl's face in the moment that he was proud, too.

But now he doesn't know what to do. He and Karl had been kinda sorta hoping to ask him out tonight. They'd asked each other out last night, and they were going to ask Alex out tonight, but it's definitely not the right time. He isn't sure when  _ will  _ be the right time, if it ever even comes. He'd been so excited, but this had just thrown a wrench into the equation.

He shouldn't think like that, though. It's not Alex's fault that he isn't ready yet. It'd probably cause  _ more  _ issues in the long run if they hadn't had this reevaluation due to unforeseen circumstances. Alex shouldn't feel rushed into healing. He should get better on his own time. It's not his right to tell Alex when is and when isn't the right time to be ready.

He can't help but feel a bit impatient waiting for the right time, though.

"I'm gonna talk to him tomorrow. See if he won't mind going to see Puffy. Talk about this with someone more qualified." Karl says, still staring at Alex with a furrowed brow. "He really needs to talk to her. Hell, I'd be happy if he talked to Sam about this stuff. He just... needs to talk about it."

Sapnap hums in agreement, glancing over at Karl before staring down at his feet. It's silent again, for a little while, before he speaks up.

"We'll wait for him, though. For however long it takes." Karl turns and looks at him in shock for a few seconds before smiling and leaning his head onto Sapnap's shoulder with a satisfied hum.

"Yeah, we will. And he'll be worth every second of it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope ur happy, katie.


	14. feels bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// depictions of an ADHD episode (based on my personal experience because ADHD can suck my asssssss and my meds are making me brain hurtyyyyyyyyy) ft. tommy (also with ADHD!!) helping Techno through it !!!

_**ONLINE** _

_funds :D is Online_

_gogchamp is Online_

_pigeon man is Online_

_Dog Boy Wilbur is Online_

_RACCOONINNIT is Online_

_CAT BOY TUBBO is Online_

_A LITERAL DRAGON is Online_

_PIG BUT NOT A COP is Online_

**_OFFLINE_ **

_jslut is Offline_

_Dream is Offline_

_Tree Sap is Offline_

_featherless biped is Offline_

_listens to sweater weather (derogatory) is Offline_

**_Pog Bitches That Need Therapy (+ Dream)_ **

**funds :D  
** m..,..,,,memn

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
** Pardon?

**funds :D  
** mmen,,,,opretyy

** gogchamp has changed his  ** ** name to  
pretty  ** ** man **

**pretty man  
** hey

**funds :D  
** LOUAIAODJAIKJDIA

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
** NAHHHHHH

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
** PLZZZZZZZZ LMFAO

**RACCOONINNIT  
** JAILLLLLLLL

**pigeon man  
** Hm.

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
** Things I don't like: This.

**Dog Boy Wilbur  
** Down vote

**funds :D  
** Shut up bitch  
up vote cause my man gogy is  
very pretty

**pretty man  
** hell yea  
:) can i come over??

**funds :D  
** :) sure !  
anyways  
BRUH WHY IS THIS ONE GUY  
SO PRETTY???????  
LIKE BRO HE JUST WALKED BY  
ME AND I?????  
SIR WALK BY AGAIN P L E A S E  
I AM BEGGING YOU TO

**pretty man  
**

**RACCOONINNIT  
** feels bad

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
** ouch

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
** hoooooo damn....

**pigeon man  
** i felt that one

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
** Woof...

**Dog Boy Wilbur  
** oh ow...

**funds :D  
**?

**RACCOONINNIT  
** you really did that to my mans  
he was trying to cuff... and you  
did that to him...

**pretty man  
** i wasnt trying to cuff a damn  
thing  
dont go out there lying

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
** cut that shit out you know that  
you were trying to cuff  
you got 'come over' zoned, bruh  
make sure you keep your head up

**Dog Boy Wilbur  
** BARBOO??????

**pretty man  
** as pissed as i am, that was kinda  
fire

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
** you know what....  
that was pretty tough

**RACCOONINNIT  
** ranboo making a diss track when?

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
** AJDKAJFJKSJ PLEASE I WASNT EVEN  
TRYING TO RHYME LET ME BREATHE

**pretty man  
** i got decimated by someone that wasnt  
even trying...  
going dark

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
** what the fuck is decimated

**RACCOONINNIT  
** its like destroyed

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
** ohhhh okay  
thank you tommy :)

**RACCOONINNIT  
** :)

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
** those r my besties :)  
JADHADKHAJFHSFD  
TUBBOLL??

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**?????

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
** MFW MICHALE SPEAKOS AT ME???

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
** WHAT???  
WIAKT DEADAS>S?????

**Dog Boy Wilbur  
** Wait,,,,  
Michael as in... the baby piglin???

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
** YES HIM  
HE EITHER JUST SPOKE OR IM  
HEARING STUFD AGAIJN

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
** AKFJSMKFDAJDALJFSKJSKDS  
OKAY GET IT ON CAMERA CAUSE RN  
IM HANGING OUT WITH PURPLED  
AND HE'D HATE IF I LEFT

**pigeon man  
** shouldnt you be talking to him instead  
of being on ur phone???

**Dog Boy Wilbur  
** Yeah I was gonna say...  
Isn't it kinda rude??

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
** nah nothing like that  
purpled likes to just sit in silence when  
hanging out with people.  
its a sort of comfortable silence kinda  
thing.

**RACCOONINNIT  
** ^^  
he talks to me about stuff sometimes but  
we mostly just do our own thing in the  
same room  
its pretty chill

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
** yeah  
hes training rn  
no idea what for, but hes going IN

**funds :D  
** why arent all of you there???  
dont you weirdos travel in a fuckin  
pack most of the time

**pretty man  
** oh, he doesnt like large groups  
and like, four people isnt really LARGE  
but all of them together isloud enough   
that it sounds like a stadium

**RACCOONINNIT  
** OI

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
** Fuck you

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
** true

**funds :D  
** wait how do you know gogy????

**pretty man  
** ran into him in the woods once and when i  
asked why he's never around, thats what  
he said

**funds :D  
** The irony of you asking why someone is   
never around...

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
** LMFAOOOOOOO   
TRUE TRUE

**RACCOONINNIT  
** TRUEEEEEEEE

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
** LITERALLY

**pretty man  
** Listen.

**funds :D  
** im listening.

**pretty man  
**.  
fuck you

**funds :D  
** mhm

**pretty man  
** i hate men  
any samers in chat???

**RACCOONINNIT  
** same

**pretty man  
** the one thing we will ever agree on

**RACCOONINNIT  
** deadass

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
** hahghaghaghgagagagagagaga  
Phil do you know where my hitty thing  
is

**funds :D  
** mans said.  
mans said "hitty thing"

**pretty man  
** FR LMFAO  
bruh what are you referring to

**Dog Boy Wilbur  
** Was it in the usual spot, Techno?

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
** no i checked already

**Dog Boy Wilbur  
** huh

**pigeon man  
** I havent seen it since the last time  
you needed it, Tech

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
** That was like a month ago tho

**pigeon man  
** Then I havent seen it in a month

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
** what the fuckkkkk  
i want the hitty thingggggggg

**pigeon man  
** Did you check your room?

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
** yes i checked my fucking room  
you seriously think i wouldnt have?

**pigeon man  
** fair, but dont snap at me please

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
** then dont ask a stupid ass question

**RACCOONINNIT  
** Whoa, okay... uhm  
you good?

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
** obviously fucking not

**RACCOONINNIT  
** Okay, yeah, dumb question  
How about this: What's wrong?

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
** i need the hitty thing

**RACCOONINNIT  
** What is the "hitty thing"?

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
** Its my hitty thing  
like, i hit shit with it and i  
i dont know how to descrive it  
i dont know like  
fuck i really just dont know right now  
brain hurty :(

**RACCOONINNIT  
** That's fine! You dont have to explain  
anything right now if your can't!!  
Where all have you checked for your  
hitty thing?

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
** living room, bedroom, basement

**RACCOOINNIT  
** Can you check them all again?  
I know you said you already did, but  
just in case?

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
** yrah i can  
brb

**RACCOONINNIT  
** Okay :)

**PIG BUT NOT A COP is Offline**

**funds :D  
**??????? what

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
** it just happens sometimes  
tommy knows how to help him  
through it

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
** its kinda freaky how easily they can  
work through it together tbh

**Dog Boy Wilbur  
** deadass  
Its like,,,, a different level

**RACCOONINNIT  
** we have the same issue of course  
we're on a different level dumbass

**pigeon man  
** tommy comes out fist firsts in every  
situation its baffling

**RACCOONINNIT  
** No, I'm actually quite a nice person  
to most of those that I'm friends with,  
it's just that after months of guilting  
and manipulation I've developed a  
grudge towards him. Nice try though.  
Maybe if you were around more often  
you would have gotten that right. :)

**funds :D  
** DAMN

**pretty man  
** SHITTTTT  
THAT WAS COLD BLOODED.

**CAY BOY TUBBO  
** THATS MY BEST FRIEND!!!

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
** AYYYEEEE FUCK IT UP!!!!  
go bestie go bestie go!!!

**Dog Boy Wilbur  
**.

**pigeon man**

.

** Dog Boy Wilbur is Offline **

** pigeon man is Offline **

**RACCOONINNIT  
** LMFAOOOOOO

**CAT BOY TUBBO**  
dudes couldnt handle the heat

**A LITERAL DRAGON**  
dont try to start a fire if you're  
gonna be surprised every time  
you get burned

**funds :D  
** hng man walked by again

**pretty man  
** plz im dying who are you even  
talking abt

**funds :D  
** absolutely none of your business

**RACCOONINNIT  
** the LGBTQ+ community is very  
confusing with how they treat  
the people they like but they  
are pog anyways i suppose

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
** what kind of long winded roast  
was that

**RACCOONINNIT  
** i fucking hate you

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
**

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
** not the kermit...

**PIG BUT NOT A COP is Online**

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
** okay im back

**RACCOONINNIT  
** did you find the thing???

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
** what thing?  
i made soup

**RACCOONINNIT  
** plz,,,  
you were trying to find the  
hitty thing?

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
** OH  
OH YEAH HOLY SHIT  
WHOOPS OKAY  
I'LL BRB AGAIN

**RACCOONINNIT  
** PLZ

**PIG BUT NOT A COP is Offline**

**funds :D  
** this is y'all's most feared enemy...

**RACCOONINNIT  
** i mean,  
just cause he cant function as well  
as others doesnt mean he isnt  
terrifying on the battle field,,,  
he completely hyper-fixated on  
learning how to fight when we were  
kids, and while it's dulled down you  
can still tell how its one of his ways  
to keep himself stimulated  
same thing with greek mythology  
he was really into it when he was  
younger and it's super obvious  
that he carried it into his older years  
funnily enough he actually read me  
the story of theseus when i was like  
five, he just changed the ending to  
be happier  
like, i fucking despise him now but  
i'm not gonna let someone make  
fun of his executive dysfunction  
because he genuinely just... can't  
help it.  
ESPECIALLY considering I get the  
same way sometimes and I know  
how shitty it feels to get made  
fun of for it.

**funds :D  
** aight i'll shut the fuck up then  
thank you for telling me

**RACCOONINNIT  
** youre chill  
but dont let me catch you lacking  
again or its hands up

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
** protectiveinnit

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
** protectiveinnit

**RACCOONINNIT  
** fuck you

**PIG BUT NOT A COP is Online**

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
** I FOUND HITTY THING :D !

**RACCOONINNIT  
** POGGERS!!!!!  
Where was it :0

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
**....dont be mad

**RACCOONINNIT  
**...bedroom?

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
** Worse.  
It was where I always put  
it.  
It was just under a jacket  
so I didn't see it.

**RACCOONINNIT  
** LMFAOOOOOOO  
okay thats kinda stupid but  
good job finding it anyways  
proud of you

**PIG BUT NOT A COP  
** I'm gonna go do hitty stuff with  
hitty thing to calm down now.  
Thank you for the help, Tommy.  
I really do appreciate it.

**RACCOONINNIT  
** Of course!! Have fun :)

**PIG BUT NOT A COP is Offline**

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
**...

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
**...

**pretty man  
**...

**funds :D  
**...

**RACCOONINNIT  
** dont you fucking dare

**CAT BOY TUBBO  
** protectiveinnit

**A LITERAL DRAGON  
** protectiveinnit

**pretty man  
** protectiveinnit

**funds :D  
** protectiveinnit

**RACCOONINNIT  
** I hope all of you die in a fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> purpled name drop !! :D


	15. WE HAVE SEX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IVE BEEN WANTING TO MAKE A WE HAVE SEX CENTRIC CHAPTER FOR SO LONG YALL HAVE NO IDEA HFJNSKJFS
> 
> tw// necrophilia mention (used jokingly), past drug use mention, cocaine mention (also used jokingly)

_**ONLINE** _

_alec is Online_

_greg is Online_

_samuel is Online_

_kristopher is Online_

**_OFFLINE_ **

_N/A_

**_WE HAVE SEX_ **

**alec  
** okay im still a little overwhelmed  
after what happened but i cant not  
make fun of george for getting  
curbed by fundy LMFAOOOOOOO

**greg  
** plz,,,,,

**samuel  
** LMFAOOOADOSAUIOAUJDIHJ  
PLZ ITS SO FUNNY WATCHING YOU  
TRY TO FLIRT AND GET COMPLETELY  
IGNORED

**kristopher  
** HONESTLYYYYYY  
ITS LIKE ACTUALLY PAINFUL

**greg  
**

**alec  
** "can i come over"  
  
":) sure"  
  
*starts talkin about a diff guy*

**samuel  
** oh taht hurt  
i felt that one

**kristopher  
** the way i like physically cringed at that  
like i knew george had no game but,,,  
DAMN

**greg  
**

**alec  
** gogy rn:  
 **  
**

**kristopher  
** "pian"

**samuel  
** "pian"

**alec  
** shut the fuck up

**greg  
** yes lets make fun of alex now  
lets do that  
haha you cant spell

**alec  
** oh nah we're still talking about  
how you got totally fucking  
curbed and EVERYONE could  
tell  
shit was funny asf

**kristopher  
** literally like....  
idk if hes just oblivious or actively  
trying to curb you but either way  
i have to chuckle

**greg  
** yall say this like you havent curbed  
each other like. a dozen times.

**samuel  
** JADKJADK SHUT UP WE HAVE NOT

**greg  
** bruh.  
i can give you like five examples rn.

**kristopher  
** thats cap

**greg  
** bet.

**alec  
** oh no.

**samuel  
** oh no.

**kristpher  
** oh no.

**[GREG HAS SENT alexgettingcurbed.jpg  
& 10 other attachments]**

**alec  
** wtf why are they all me

**samuel  
** LMFAO

**kristopher  
** PLZZZZZZ

**[GREG HAS SENT karlgettingcurbed.jpg]**

**kristopher  
** this is less funny now

**samuel  
** KAIOFJKALJFKSFK

**alec  
** LMFAOO

**[GREG HAS SENT karlgettingcurbed(1).jpg  
& 16 other attachments]**

**greg  
** and last but not least

**samuel  
** oh no.

**[GREG HAS SENT sapnapgettingcurbed.jpg  
& 59 other attachments]**

**kristopher  
** SIXTY FUCKING SCRRENS IM DEAD  
MANS GET GAME IM IN PAIN

**alec  
** PLEASE HOW DO YOU GET CURBED  
SO MUCH

**samuel  
** sapin without the s

**kristopher  
** motherfucker that spells apin

**greg  
** PLZ HOW DID YOU MISSPELL SPAIN  
ITS LITERALLY JUST PAIN WITH AN S  
AT THE FRONT  
KARL LITERALLY JUST SAID IT  
IM LOSING MY MIND  
HOLY FUCKING SHIT

**samuel  
** when i make one spelling mistake i  
get clowned but when tubbo does i  
dont see a single joke

**kristopher  
** i-  
TUBBO IS DYSLEXIC??????  
IT DOESNT COMPARE?????

**greg  
** DEADASS??  
THERES A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A  
WHOLE DISABILITY AND JUST BEING  
A DUMBASS

**alec  
** no one:  
sapnap: it really fucked up to not make  
fun of the disabled kid when he makes  
a mistake caused by his disability :/

**samuel  
** OKAY YEAH I SEE HOW THAT COULD  
HAVE SOUNDED  
DO NOT MAKE FUN OF TUBBO FOR  
HIS DYSLEXIA THAT WOULD BE  
KINDA FUCKED

**alec  
** WHAT DO YOU MEAN "kinda"????

**greg  
** according to sapnap it is only kinda  
fucked up to bully the disabled

**kristopher  
** same energy as the guy at the gym  
that asked me if i'd tried drinking  
protein shakes when i told him i was  
partially colorblind

**greg  
** LMFAO

**samuel  
** plz,,,,, how do i recover from this

**kristopher  
** you deadass cant  
you dug a hole for yourself

**samuel  
** harassment.  
biphobia.  
is it because i like men, huh?  
i bet it is.  
im surrounded by haters.  
every day i can feel them praying  
on my downfall.  
for shame.

**alec  
** "is it because i like men"  
....my man  


**kristopher  
** AKFSHJMDIJSKHNDMKAJMSJK  
mayhaps i,,,,,,,, need to  
compose myself  
i will return when boys no  
longer pretty

**samuel  
** anyways alex send me that pic  
later cool :)

**alec  
** AKJDAJDMSKLF ??????  
men r so confusing and for what

**greg  
** DEADASSSSSS  
fundy will flirt with me whether  
its subconciously or not idk and  
then mans starts talking about  
some other guy sadge

**alec  
** okay but you do realize that u  
probably know the guy right??  
like,,, there aren't a lot of guys  
that still live near the SMP  
even eret lives a little further  
out than most nowadays  
the only guys that are here like,  
regularly, are all of us, fundy  
himself, three whole ass minors,  
the eggpire who fundy barely  
knows and doesnt bother to talk  
to cause he said they freak him out,  
sam who he said is like a step-uncle  
to him, his literal fuckin dad, and  
sometimes his grandpa.  
like,,, there's not a lot of options  
bruh,,,  
unless it wasnt a regular  
in which case, good luck g

**greg  
** plz why do i only ever like guys  
who are either oblivious or not  
available im dead

**alec  
** me but ive only ever liked an  
alcoholic, a serial arsonist, and  
a guy who would forget my name  
every other week

**kristopher  
**??????????  
SIR?????

**samuel  
** AN ARSONIST????????  
plz ur standards are so low,,,

**kristopher  
** FOR REAL  
if someones forgetting ur name  
every other week then maybe  
they arent worth it :/

**greg  
** oooooooo  
theres another for the collection

**alec  
** sometimes i dont wanna be happy

**kristopher  
** dont hold it against me

**greg  
** if im down just leave me there let  
me be sad

**samuel  
** LMFAO SHUT UP  
I FUCKIN HATE YALL SO MUCH DAMN

**kristopher  
** bold coming from a mf with a photo  
album called 'karl&alex<3' on his  
phone

**greg  
** STOPPPPPPPPPPPP

**alec  
** LMFAOOOOOOO  
YOURE LYINGGGGGGGG

**kristopher  
** IM NOT KAJMAJ  
LIKE IM BEING DEADASS AND THATS  
WHY ITS SO FUNNY

**samuel  
** bye.  
i will be passing away.  
make my funeral a rave.  
throw my corpse into a mosh pit.  
mix my ashes into a bag of coke.

**greg  
** odd request but im down to snort  
your ashes on their own so wev

**samuel  
** pardon me.

**greg  
** you offered

**samuel  
** siri how to convery shocked silence  
through text without an ellipses

**alec  
** that would do it i think

**kristopher  
** why are you so eager to snort his  
ashes

**greg  
** i think itd be funny  
like when i snorted my neighbors  
ashes on a dare in high school

**alec  
** EXCUSE ME????????

**kristopher  
** what a terrible day to be literate

**samuel  
** LMFAO I REMEMBER THAT  
THE VIDEO YOU SENT AS PROOF  
NEARLY MADE ME PISS MYSELF  
YOU DEADASS PASSED OUT I  
WAS IN TEARS

**greg  
** I SNORTED FORTY YEAR OLD  
ASHES OF COURSE I PASSED  
OUT

**kristopher  
** IM SORRY BUT HOW DID YOU  
EVEN GET HOLD OF YOUR  
N E I G H B O R S ASHES???

**greg  
** i stole them obviously

**alec  
** i  
THE DISRESPECT????  
HE WAS DEAD ??????  
AND YOUR WHITE ASS FUCKIN  
SNORTED HIM?????

**greg  
** EXACTLY  
mans was dead anyways so who  
cares 

**samuel  
** george said fuck those dead people

**greg  
** KASFJSIKFJMK I REALLY DID

**krsitopher  
** george necrophiliac arc

**alec  
** LMFAO

**samuel  
** PLZZZZZZZ

**greg**  
the joke is decidedly no longer  
funny

**alec  
** george is about to light up to  
forget the pain

**kristopher  
** poppin a perky to shut down

**greg  
** I HAVE NEVER DONE DRUGS IN  
MY LIFE????

**samuel  
** cap  
i, however, have never done a  
single drug in my life because i  
am good and pure

**greg  
** shut the fuck up lying ass  
you showed up to my 16th  
birthday high as balls  
and then called me lame  
when i said you werent allowed  
inside cuz of the smell

**samuel  
** lol

**kristopher  
** PLZ why do our parents like you  
im crying

**alec  
** LITERALLY  
you are such a bad influence

**samuel  
** you commit arson one time

**alec  
** the way youre wanted in ten  
countries on counts of arson

**kristopher  
** LMFAOOOOOO  
THE WAY HE LITERALLY CANT  
GO TO EPIC SMP ANYMORE

**greg  
** PLZZZZZZ HES NEVER EVEN   
BEEN TO ORIGIN SMP AND THEY  
BANNED HIS ASS CAUSE THEY  
SAW HIM ON THE NEWS

**alec  
** BRUHHHHHH

**samuel  
** my impact

**alec  
** when hes a wanted felon<3

**kristopher  
** mama im in love with a criminal

**greg  
** and this type of love isnt rational

**alec  
** ITS PHYSICAL

**samuel  
** oh to go one day without you guys  
reciting song lyrics in the gc

**alec  
** hm...  
no :)

**samuel  
** heart been broke so many times

**kristopher  
** dont know what to believeeee

**greg  
** mama said its my fault its my fault

**alec  
** i wear my heart on my sleeve

**samuel  
** i walked into that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stream waterfalls coming out your mouth by glass animals (threat)


End file.
